A Tale or Two on Deb

Good morning to all, and we hope everyone had a joyous Easter yesterday! We certainly did, but it was just Deb and I.

Red is in Jacksonville, finishing up a job, but Stacey his wife, and little Shelby Lynn went to see him and stay a night or two. The other kids all went to church, and then headed in different directions.

Josh, Shelley (Mae), and their three boys I believe went back to their home, and hung out getting ready for work come Monday. Michelle and Kara and their kids went to my Mom and Dad’s. They had a cookout and I’m sure all went on an Easter egg hunt!

A Tale or Two on Deb

Deb and I were going, but her food intake was severely cut back due to her test today. So, I told Mom, we’d wait this time, until ole Deb can sop her a biscuit in something along with all the rest of us!

Only meat, eggs, broccoli and asparagus, which she doesn’t like cooked, and being she couldn’t dip them in Ranch dressing, she said to heck with it. Plus, when she can’t have some type of bread…Git back!!

She’s been eating like this since Saturday morning, and can’t drink anything besides water, which is good for us all, but she loves fruit juice and might like her a coke(or two) as well. So, she’s ready to get the dern test over with.

But, you know what guys? I’ve eaten the exact same thing…yes I have! I figured if that’s all she can have, well, that’s good enough for me too! I went into CVS with her(a drug store chain), while she picked up some drinking cups for after the test tomorrow, don’t ask me why, she just said she wanted to go get some, and I said…okay.

After all these years together, you see, I am learnin’ something! Like shut up, and do what they say.

Back to CVS though, man, I haven’t had anything sweet since Friday evening, and when we passed those dad-gum turtles, the candy, I almost “lifted me a box of em!”

Boy, that dern picture on the box with one of them things tore open with those nuts shining, and that carmel going, “Hey Dub…check it out”, and that chocolate staring back at me…Phew, that was a real test people!

Finally though, my little good conscious guy stood up on my shoulder, just jumped up and “Jap-slapped” my little bad conscious guy, and the urge passed.

Actually today, I was gonna talk a little more with you about the beekeepers and the bees. But after I got to telling ya’ll about what few things Deb could eat this past weekend I thought, shoot, I know so little about bees at the moment, but I know so much about Deb, today’s topic just ended up being a no-brainer!

You guys have seen her picture, so you can see she’s not very big. Actually she’s pretty tiny in reality. Publix is our large grocery chain down here, and honestly they are a very clean, well run business.

Anyway, I’ve seen someone we knew coming out of the store before and stopped to talk with them. After a minute or two, they’d start laughing and say, “Dub, what in the world is Deb doing? Look at her, she’s climbed up on the railing beside the door mats and standing on the rail! What in the world is she up to?”

I then tell them she’s not up to nothing, she just weighs so little, if she doesn’t climb up on the railing, and JUMP down on that doormat, those automatic doors won’t open for her!

I’ve seen her do it a dozen times or more! I do caution her from time to time now though, cause we’re getting a little older and our sense of balance ain’t what it used to be!

BUT EAT…good Lord that little gal can eat! I think she eats so much at times, that it makes her poor to tote it! That or she got a holler leg! She can eat a whole can of biscuits at a sitting. She just absolutely loves bread…any kind of bread.

Her favorite…all of it!

Corn bread, hoe cake, biscuits, man, she’ll cover those things in butter, and I mean a lot of butter, and chow down. I’m like, “Deb, why don’t you have a biscuit with all that butter?” Her reply, “you eat ‘em how you want to eat ‘em, and I’ll do the same!” My answer…okay.

Now if she really wants a treat, this is one way it really gets good to her…old style homemade doughnuts!

She’ll bust open a can of just them little regular biscuits, get her some grease good and hot in a skillet, start poking her a hole with her finger in the center of them biscuits, and start chunkin’ em in that hot grease!

She browns them babies up some, takes them out, and has a plate with sugar dumped all in it. She rolls them biscuits in that sugar, gets her a plateful of them, let’s see, there’s ten in a can, so that constitutes a plateful…all ten of em!

She’ll come in there where I’m watching Matt Dillon, Cheyenne Body (pronounced bow-dee), or Have Gun Will Travel, sit down and go to tearing those “little doughnuts” up! She kills me, cause I’ll be ignoring her, and after she wolfs down about number six or seven, she’ll look over and go, “You want a doughnut, Dub?”

I don’t like them personally, maybe once in a great while I might eat a couple, but I’ll say just to aggravate her, “You know Deb, those do smell pretty good, yes I do, give me two or three of them.”

You ought to see her face! She’ll cock them eyes over at me and say, “Well, you heard me in there making them! Why didn’t you say you’d like some too, and I’d have opened another can!”

I tell her, “Open another dern can? There’s ten of em in a can! I don’t want but a couple, isn’t eight enough for you at one sitting?” Man, you’d a thought she’d lost her best friend, although I think if she could put her best friend in one hand, and a biscuit in the other, that’d just be an awful decision for her to have to make!

All jokes aside though, Deb can put some groceries away, big time!

Another big one in Deb’s favorites…Chick-Fil-A, I guess that’s how you spell it. Now I do like one of their sandwiches every once in a while myself, and they’ve even got a good chicken salad sandwich, but Deb? Oh, my goodness, she’d rather eat those chicken nuggets of theirs than fish…and Deb LOVES to fish!

They don’t have one really anywhere near our home, thank God, so we only get her some if we’re in Orlando, which her test is in Orlando today, and after the test she’ll be able to eat anything she wants again. So, any ideas as to where she’s already put in to stop at and eat today?

I was thinking about taking her to get a steak somewhere, but no, it’ll be Chick-Fil-A today, or sleepin’ in the barn tonight! So, looking at it from that stand point, them little chicken nuggets are actually looking pretty good.

By the way, she’d just come in to see what my column was about, and says, “I thought you were going to talk about the bees?” I told her put those two words, “the birds” in front of it, and we’d talk. She left out like a scalded dog! Works every time!

Oh, I wasn’t going to own up to it…but I did eat three of those dern turtles! She was checking out, and after seeing me standing there, trying to slip a box of them up under my shirt and walk out, she grabbed them up, took them to the counter and bought me a box! What a lady…see why I love her so?

I hope you guys have as much fun reading about ole Deb as I do picking at her! We’re both so glad you guys dropped in to visit once again, and we hope you all did have a wonderful Easter!

God Bless!


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