The Good Sport

Good morning, guys. How is everyone today? We sure hope all is well in regards to you and your families, and thank you for stopping back in to see Deb and me! You guys are great!

Anyway, last night I was sittin’ out in the swing just taking a few minutes of quiet time. The days have been blistering hot, and we sure could stand some rain, but last night it had cooled off and we had a nice breeze going.

It rained about 5 miles down the road, but although we didn’t get any of it, it was close enough that at least it cooled us down some. It was really, really nice.

After Deb finished catching up some of her e-mails, she walked outside and joined me on the porch.

When she walked out I had been laughing out loud and she came to check on me. She asked, “Were you thinking about something funny, or just losing your mind?” Since I hadn’t considered it from that perspective before, I did stop and think a minute before answering her.

I told her that after considering both carefully, it was in reality that I was thinking back of times past and had remembered a time in my life BD, or, before Deb, but that isn’t saying I, in fact am not losing my mind as well.

Well, with women being on the nosy side, she wanted to know what I’d thought so funny. I told her I don’t know why, but I thought about a girl that had called me one time, said we knew each other, although I sure didn’t remember her, and she just kept insisting that I did.

I mean this girl wouldn’t accept that I thought she must have had me confused with someone else because again, for the life of me I didn’t know who she was. Finally after this going on for what I considered plenty long enough, I told Deb that I just pulled a Dub on her, and that was the end of it…I hung up and never heard another word from her.

At this point Deb HAD to hear the story, and after hearing it she just exploded in laughter and said, “You know Dub, if I didn’t know you better I’d think this was true, but knowing you like I do, it isn’t…right?” I just shook my head, come back inside and turned on Matt Dillon!

Three or four times thereafter, she’d look over and ask, “You were kidding, right?” I’d wink at her, then turn the volume up on the TV.
So anyway, I thought I’d share this tale, or is it, with you guys today.

I used to live in Texas, and I’m not sure, but I’m assuming this festival still goes on, and in fact would be shocked to hear that it doesn’t still take place today. It was in Grand Saline, Texas, and I believe it is called the Salt Festival.

Back then this was quite a, to do. Man, I couldn’t begin to guess how many people were there, but there was a ton of them! I mean it was shoulder to shoulder.

They had dancing in the streets, and had a band performing. This particular year John Anderson was there and I went to school with John.

We went to Apopka Memorial High together, and John’s Dad, Jug, was one of my baseball coaches while growing up. Jug was just a super guy, and John always was, too. John let us on the bus, and I must admit, sadly, that I was not the normal, day in day out Dub, but was in reality, quite an ass…and drunker than “Cooter Brown.” Anyway….apologies all around.

Well, I don’t even remember leaving the place, but knew the next day I must have had a great time. This was gauged by the fact I couldn’t focus my eyes clearly, my head felt like a mule had stove it in, and my mind seemed foggy.

You know, all the symptoms that you have that indeed tell you, “I can’t remember a dern thing, so last night musta’ been awful good to me!” These “had a REALLY good time symptoms” normally don’t last long though, maybe a week at the most.

This was one of the main reasons I quit drinking so long ago. They say you can’t get too much of a good thing…BULL!

Anyway, a couple months after the Salt Festival my phone rings…

I pick it up, and this female voice on the other end of the phone says, “Is this Dub?”

Well, bein’ a single man at the time, and this being a young lady’s voice on the other end of the phone, I immediately went into my “bulling mode.” In my best Barry White voice I go, “Yea baby, this is Dub.”

She tells me how good it is to finally catch up with me again and how she’s missed me, and on and on, and on…

The whole time I’m trying to place who in the world this is? I can’t put a face to her voice, or even understand where we’ve supposed to have been together, or even picture EVER talking to her, period! I mean I’m totally confused.

So I ask her if she’s got the right person, or does she think she’s possibly confused me with someone else?

This lady assures me that I am indeed who she thinks I am, and we’d been together before, and we’d had such a good time. Even said that I’d given her my number, which she’d misplaced, and had just found. This being the reason she was calling now, AND the reason she hadn’t called sooner.

This goes back and forth for 5 minutes or so, and I’m telling you all…I have NO idea who this girl is! None!

I say to her, that IF we had met, and we had this great time together, where in fact did all this take place?

She goes, “Dub, that’s what I like about you…you play around so much. You were absolutely hilarious at the Salt Festival! You had everybody in stitches, it was a blast!”

Well, I’m thinking hard now. The Salt Festival…the Salt Festival…who’d I meet at the dern Salt Festival?? Then I remembered…I remembered, that I remembered, absolutely nothing at all about the dern Salt Festival! Was it Winston Churchill that said, “These are the times that try men’s souls?”

If it was Winston, I don’t remember seein’ him at the Salt Festival either!

Finally I just tell her, “Look, I don’t remember talking to you, I don’t remember being with you, and honestly, I have no earthly idea of who you are!”

This girl just laughs and says, “Oh Dub, you’re so full of it. You remember me! You kept calling me a “good sport!” All night long it was good sport this, good sport that, and I’m the good sport you kept referring to! You’ve got to remember me!”

I say once again, “Look, once more I don’t remember you. I don’t know your name, I don’t remember no “good sport,” and I’m tired of this already, I have to go now!”

Now she’s getting really frantic. Very distraught she says, “But Dub, you have to remember me, I’m the GOOD SPORT!! Even though we were only together just the one time, I’m pregnant with your baby, and if you don’t marry me…I’m gonna kill myself!!”

Upon hearing this, I stopped for a minute, gathered my thoughts, then responded, “Dern, you really are a good sport, aren’t you?? Then hung up the phone.

I hope you guys got as big a kick outta’ this as Deb and I last night. We like to laugh, and this tale supplied us a good one. It was a tale…right Deb?

We’re glad you all decided to come back and visit with us again today, and we’re tickled you did!

God Bless you and yours, and as ole’ Deb likes to say, “Keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!”

Dub and Deb