Good morning, and how are you today? Well, you’ve come back once more for another edition of Ridin’ Out the Recession, in Miz Judi’s Kitchen! We hope all are well, and in good spirits, and thank you for stopping by to visit with us once more! We’re glad to have you!
Well, as you all have seen, I might like a good laugh from time to time. Today would have been no different, EXCEPT, the tables were turned this time and the laugh was on me, instead of the usual, other way around!
Momma, “Cooter Baby,” and Masked Insurance Agents
Deb and I had run to our bank this morning first thing. I met my “new banker,” The bank has moved staff around and “my man,” Mark, who by the way is just a great guy, was moved to the Bartow branch.
My “new man,” Charley and I had never met, so we went down to sit and visit. By the way Charley, you seemed like a good guy! You hear me Charley…gotta’ make points anyway you can! LOL!
Well, ole Red has been in Jacksonville paving, and was running a little short on “moola,” so he calls his Momma and “the old man.”
I didn’t hear the conversation between he and his Momma, but Deb just told me we need to send Red a little cash. I said, “Deb, last time we did that, the dern guy cum back home with a new Jeep!” Which he really didn’t, but I still like to use that with Deb for emphasis, you see.
But, Red has been in Jacksonville since the 10th of the month, and I got to figuring, well he’s been there 10 days today, and they’ll finish up Friday, the 22nd, aw shoot Deb, go on and send him another 20 bucks!
She said, “Dub, he transferred money from his own account on Monday to use, so we wouldn’t have to transfer any since we’ve been going to all these Doctors appointments and tests…the boy’s broke!” I simply asked when she said that, “And your point to this is what? But if that’s how you feel, send the boy a fifty…but you tell him I want the change, ya hear!”
Now I can push ole Deb to a point, regarding just about anything, but man, she takes them young’uns seriously, I’m here to tell you! So before I pushed her button all the way, I just told her send “Cooter Baby” whatever you like. My “man up” days with ole Deb have done got up and gone!
Oh, I could bow right up and ruffle my feathers, but anymore, it’s only a bluff, and unfortunately she realizes this too. So in reality, the battle is lost, even before it starts! Woe is me?
Okay we sent Red the money.
We left the bank, and went to the Farm Bureau who have our homeowner and vehicle insurance. We’d gone down to pay our homeowners for the year.
Well, Deb and I get inside, and I tell the lady I need to pay our homeowners, and then I’d like to see someone over a couple other issues. The lady seemed nice enough, actually she was pretty cheerful, but really…she was “the Devil” in disguise!!
She says, “Sir…we’d be happy to take your check today, but we won’t be handling any issues until next week!”
I was half paying attention as I’d already started writing my check, plus by then I was off in my own little world to myself thinking, man…these guys (insurance agents) ought to be wearing masks and guns, this homeowners insurance is really going up!
She says again, “Sir, we will be happy to take your check today, BUT we will be handling no issues UNTIL next week!”
This time I heard her…clearly! I said, “What do you mean next week,” and folded my dern check book back up, and told her I’d pay my homeowners next week too!
Well, then Deb starts laughing! So I turn all “ticked off” and look at her like, what are you finding humorous in this situation? This dern woman’s being a smart, well you know what I thought, then the lady starts laughing too, and right then at that very moment…I knew I’d been had!
Oh, they got me, and “Mr. Pick on Somebody, hisself,” had done gone and got it good! I WAS ON THE RECEIVING END, and quite frankly was at a loss for words.
Then I figured, what the heck, for what they’re charging me for their dern insurance, they ought to be staffed by comedians, for entertainment purposes! You know, gittin’ sumthin’ for your money for a change!
I’m sorry I don’t remember your name Miss, but you had me so dad-gum confused for a minute, I didn’t even think to look! I WILL be talking to you down the road, and I’m just wondering if you’d ever heard of one, little, simple word…PAYBACK!
I will admit though, you had me going, and honestly sitting here now, I’m having a pretty good laugh…thanks, because in reality, Deb and I both needed a good laugh! BUT, needing a laugh or not…you have been warned! LOL!
We then went into Patty’s office, I remember you, too Patti, you tried to double charge me, right? Just pickin’ at you Patti, shoot, the other one was too fast, she was just killin’ me out front.
No, we had gone to put “FLOOD INSURANCE,” on our house, and this is a story in itself, but I won’t get into the story tonight, because I don’t need to get my blood pressure up.
I will say though, and I’m sure most of you know who makes you have flood insurance…the feds! Our house has a wraparound porch, and in the back right hand corner, is an area, and I swear it’s not even a 4’x4’ area, they say is in a flood zone!
We’ve lived here three years, have owned the property since 2003, and have been through the hurricanes of 2004, three of them, one right behind the other, and NO water near where our house sits…none!
On top of this, by their considering this 4’x4’ area of our porch, they’re saying IS in a flood zone, was deemed a flood zone prior to our house being built here. It was only the existing land they were talking about.
When we built, we built our house pad FOUR FEET HIGH, so our house is four foot above the existing lay of the land, but…do you think you can get Washington to understand this simple fact….NO!
But, who am I to say? I’m so glad our politicians are so smart, and forced me to buy this insurance. Shoot, who knows? Maybe one day there will be a flood that washes Orlando, Kissimmee, and all the other towns away??
If this happens, the water may be up to our porch by then, who knows? Thank you Mr. President, and everyone else, right on down the line, you guys are so wise…and what’s another 400 bucks anyhow?
In closing, I would like to say that Deb and I both enjoyed our dealings with Patti, and the “ole smart aleck” out front! You guys were both a hoot, and very enjoyable to be around. You both outta’ get a raise!!
Ya hear that FARM BUREAU, Patti and the “comedian out front” both need raises! Very friendly to the customer, polite, I would say professional, but the one out front kinda’ blew that one(only kidding), but both were fine examples of how to treat your customers. Well done ladies, and good job!
Also, this to Farm Bureau as well, and one more reason these ladies need to be taken care of! I really would have liked to have stopped and picked Deb and I up a sandwich on the way home, but alas, this was not to be. Why? Because we had NO money left to buy a sandwich with! This is fact…they took every dime off us, honestly, every dern dime!
I know now, that the two of them were conspiring to do this, break us, via hand signal. The lady out front had gotten a check from me, our homeowners policy. Then Patti took us into her office, and got a check, this for flood insurance.
At that point, the one from out front stuck her head in Patti’s door, and Patti held up seven fingers. It meant nothing to me at the time, but since I’m at home thinking on this some, I know now what this seven finger flashing was all about.
The first one was asking, “How much money they have left?” Patti answered her back by flashing seven fingers, meaning 7 bucks!
So guess what? When Deb and I started to leave, the first one was standing in front of the door, acting busy, but in reality she was blocking us from leaving.
She turns around facing Deb and I, and asks, “Oh, we almost forgot. You wouldn’t want to leave without buying a ten pound sack of Vidalia onions would you? They’re soooo good!”
Well, ole Deb being the nice one of our bunch coos back, “Why sure we would, how much are they?”
To which the girl replies, “Only 6 dollars and 95 cents.”
Well, there went our last seven bucks. I say, “Don’t you owe us a nickel back?”
She says, “Oh, it’s only a nickel, and look here on my desk. We collect spare change for the homeless. You want me to just chunk it in there for ya’ll?”
So, FARM BUREAU, give em a dern raise! Even I, have to admit now…they’re good, they’re very, very good!!
Apologies to “the one out front,” I’m so sorry I didn’t get your name. Of course that may not be all bad. Because if I’d have known your name, and used it, this might have tipped off the next “poor sucker” to come through the door, and into your and Patti’s sights! LOL!
Listen, we sure appreciate you guys coming back in to see us this morning! Please come again, and God Bless!
Dub and Deb
Good story, Dub, funny, but also one that many of us can identify with. Insurance is something you need to have whether or not you ever need it. However, to be forced into buying something by the feds that has a 99 and 9/10 percent chance of you never needing it is the pits! We all need to keep fighting; wake up, stand up, and SPEAK UP! I firmly believe in having insurance for everything you can, just in case, but………..I want to pick the kinds I buy!