Hello! How are you guys today? We sure hope all’s well, and everyone is doing just fine! Deb and I are both feelin great, and looking forward to each day that comes our way! Life is good, isn’t it? You betcha!
You know, in life you have good days and then scattered throughout life you have days that sometimes just aren’t so good. One thing Deb and I have learned through the years is that most times…life is what you make it.
After her diagnosis with cancer last April Fool’s Day, I asked her was there anything that she’d like to do, anywhere she’d like to go…basically, “WHAT can I do to help? Her answer… “Nothing. I want to spend as much time as I can with the kids and grandkids, BUT, I want you to keep me laughing!” I have.
By the way, ole Deb is doing absolutely fantastic! I don’t believe she’s ever been healthier in her entire life, honestly.
So, in that spirit this morning, let’s forget about our troubles for a few minutes and have us a laugh or two! You gotta laugh, my friends. It truly is, “the best medicine!”
This first laugh comes from our sister-in-law, Patty, my brother’s wife. She’s a card herself, and Patty likes to laugh and cut up as much as we do…
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The little silver haired lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then,” he said with a deep sigh….
“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
The next comes from a good friend of ours in Live Oak. His name is Dick, and we’ve known him for years. Dick used to be our old banker many, many moons ago. He’s getting on up in age. He told me a while back that when younger, he’d run for political office. I asked him if when he ran, we were still part of the original 13 colonies? I think it went over his head…but I got a chuckle out of it!
Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card
bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at
me, saying I am stealing his money. He says he pays the minimum and lets
our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the
interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors
that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch,
to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills
even more. Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with
Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and
the next he’s with Muslims. Finally, the last straw. He’s demanding that
before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty
oath. It’s just so horribly creepy! Can you help?
Signed,
Lost
Dear Lost,
Stop whining, Michelle. You’re getting to live in the White House for free,
travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can
divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the idiot
for another year!
Signed,
Abby
Our next, comes from our good friend Diane. Diane is from Virginia, and once more, I believe she’s a real “sport-model!”
A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
“Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say ‘hello’?”
Not tryin to start nothing this morning, but I only have just a short statement on that one…typical woman!!
This next photograph comes from that couple of “wild-childs” out of Mobile, Alabama, who both by the way…are 100%, die-hard, Florida Gator fans!! Ain’t that right Bill? Hey Bill, speak up buddy!! Sandi, you there?? LOL!!
Bill and Sandi did send this. It’s in reference to the Italian cruise ship that ran aground…
Then we have our ole buddy Roger, who you NEVER know what he might be sendin ya! It could be from one end of the spectrum clear to the other end, on any number of different subjects!
Today he touches on the animal rights group…PETA. I believe he’s defining to us the words…behind the letters!!
P E T A…P-eople E-ating T-asty A-nimals
Well, that’s Roger, AND, I thought it was funny too! Good one Ra-ja!
Speakin of Roger, let’s close out today with one more from Roger…the Italian Funeral!
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about
200 men walking single file.
The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
“I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”
“My wife’s.”
”What happened to her?”
“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”
He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”
The man answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either.”
A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
“Can I borrow the dog?”
The man replied, “Get in line.”
You guys have a great day, and God Bless! As always, the Missus says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!
Dub and Deb