The Word, “EXCITIN”…it just ain’t what it used to be…

Well good morning, how is everyone? I don’t know what the problem might have been, but for some reason or other I had to have an extra cup of coffee to “get motivated” this morning.

I wish I could report to you guys it was on account of Deb keeping me up to all hours of the night, and sometimes she does. I mean, just the other night I sat up with her for quite some time…she wanted to talk…and talk…and TALK!

Shoot, by the time she finally dozed off to sleep…it was dern near 9:30!!Yeah…AT NIGHT! Believe that?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have to get my sleep. Two or three nights in a row of keeping those kind of hours, and that really puts a strain on a “workin man!” LOL!

I gotta tell you though. Around here anymore the word exciting has taken on a WHOLE different meaning! Let me see…I’m tryin to come up with an example or two, to show you what I’m talking about. Hmmmmm…

Well, ah, Dale came to work last week, and was on time TWO of those days. That was kinda exciting.

Then, Deb went to the mall last week, with her and RED together, I was REALLY sweatin that one! She picked up a jacket, 3 or 4 sweaters, I think a dern bra or two and I’m POSITIVE they stopped somewhere for lunch.

Now she only spent about a hundred and a half, so between us…I was very, very happy with that amount! Almost…EXCITED!

Ole Red gets in the truck with her, “goin to town,” normally I’m in trouble! So I really was excited that was all those two spent!

BUT…I think…they think…they’d pulled the wool over my eyes, because while Deb and I were sitting in the swing talking, I saw Red coming out from behind the truck with Cheyenne and Susie, our two dogs. OOPS, I’m sorry, Susie IS a dog, BUT, Cheyenne is “our little girl!” She’d be ticked to no end if she heard me referring to her as…“A DOG!”

The point with Red coming out behind the truck with our dog and “little girl,” is simply he had an empty paper sack in his hand…the kind you might pack someone’s lunch in. You getting the picture here?

Upon seeing that sack in Red’s hand, I asked them where the two liter was? He and Deb looked at each other, and then Deb says, “Oh, it’s still in the truck…we FORGOT! Yeah, that’s what she told me, “they’d forgot,” to take it out of the truck. Well, that excited me too…in a different kinda way!

The reason, well, it’s simple. Before they left for the mall, I explained to them that there was no need to stop, eat lunch, and spend that money. Go on, shop and get what you need, no problem.

As for lunch, well, I got you and Red covered. I made you guy’s two, half baloney sandwiches apiece with mustard, and put a two liter of coke in the sack too, along with a plastic cup…ya’ll can just share that. Really, coke ain’t half bad “lukewarm,” and I don’t believe it’s supposed to get out of the seventies today though, so that coke outta be just fine! At least that WAS the plan!

I can’t prove it, BUT, I guarantee you they tossed those baloney sandwiches, stopped, eat lunch somewhere, and then back to the house. Once here, they’re telling me that the baloney WAS so good, and just how proud they are of me for tryin to look after them like I do!

I’m like, “Okay, you ate the sandwiches, I believe you. SO, why didn’t you drink any of the two liter?” Their answer??

“We just weren’t thirsty!!” Yep, that’s what they told me…”we weren’t thirsty!” They’d eaten TWO, half baloney sandwiches, yet weren’t thirsty…go figure!

You gotta watch those two by themselves, but TOGETHER, good gracious, they’ll get you if you aint careful! So, by my JUST being around those two, I guess you could describe my life… as exciting!

They won’t try to pull the wool over my eyes again for a while, so next time they go, I’ll pack em a lunch they’ll REALLY like…potted meat! That’ll teach em who “butters their toast!”

So as you guys can plainly see…the word “exciting” really just ain’t what it used to be, say like when you’re 25 or so. Exciting back then to me, was a whole nother ball game…wouldn’t you agree?

BUT, this word does still have its moments. You want a good example of this…alright!

Our website.

Since we started doing this site, we have met so many wonderful people. It has been overwhelming to Deb and I, the amount of feedback through shared information and knowledge, concern and prayers, the laughs and jokes we’ve shared, the stories we’ve told or been told, the recipes, or just good, common advice you guys share with us.

Through your response and involvement, we’ve learned so much about people and the goodness in your hearts. This has been one of the most pleasurable experiences Deb and I have ever been involved in. You guys have been just great.

So with that being said, let me express our sincere thanks for all your support and love shown our way, through this site. You all have brought a lot of joy into our lives, and we consider ourselves very lucky to call many of you anymore…our friends! Many of you even becoming extended members of our family.

So, let me wind up this part of today’s story by telling you guys…thanks! Thanks for continuing to make an old man’s life… “EXCITIN!!”

Now, how bout a joke or two.

The first two come from our Virginia buddy, Roger, once again. The third comes from Washington State, and our friend Edith. Thank you guys for sending them to us!!

Bad Parrot:

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude, and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Bear Removal:

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?

“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.

The Bear remover declares, “If the bear knocks me off the roof, for God’s sake, SHOOT THE DOG!”

The Brain Transplant:

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

“The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain…”

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

“Why is the male brain so much more?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used.”

Edith also sent Deb and I a video we thought was really cute! We’d talked about a “bear remover” a little earlier, and this video is of a bear and her two cubs…check it out!

One more funny saying before we get outta here today. This one comes from Diane.

“A lion will not cheat on his wife…but a Tiger Wood!”

You guys have a great day, and God Bless. As Deb says, keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

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