A Laugh At My Expense

Good morning everybody. How are ya today? We hope all are doing well and gearin up for a good weekend.

First off, I gotta say that the grow area outside the greenhouse is lookin great! We got it all cleaned back up yesterday and what a difference. Prior to this I’d walk by it and think, “Man, I can’t believe it has gotten into this kind of shape,” but…it had.

Now I’m very pleased to go out around it again. What a difference a good prep and cleanup make.

We snatched up the irrigation lines, tilled it up twice, re-laid out the irrigation, and then raked the area out real well leveling the soil. It looks so good now, shoot, I may not even plant it! LOL!

After tillin it in, Red, Corey and I were under up under ole Deb’s oak tree coolin it a minute or so. We were just talking and I mentioned stringing the irrigation back out after our break.

Once we got up to get started again I walked over to the grow area and…no Red or Corey?? I’m wonderin where these two ended up? In a minute or two here they come with stakes in their hands with rolled up poly twine on them.

I’m like…what are you guys doin with stakes and poly twine? They both look at me and say, “What do you mean what are we doin? You said you wanted to string out the irrigation, right?” I almost fell down.

I said , “Yep, that’s what I said…we’ll string out the irrigation again, and that’s exactly what we’re fixin to do. We’ll each grab a part of waterline (which is poly tube), and lay, or in different terminology, but meanin the same thing…string it back out, NOT take stakes and twine and literally run string lines to relay the dern stuff!”

Now, I can’t really knock Red for his misunderstandin of my statement cause shoot, I raised him…so he can’t help it. BUT Corey, I thought he was smarter than that! The blind leadin the blind is how best to describe us though, huh? LOL!

After “workin through” our shortcomings, we eventually prevailed and once more…it looks really good.

Today I thought we’d jerk some chains this morning and see if we couldn’t share a few laughs. That’s one thing that Deb and I both appreciated in regards to our lives together…the ability to make each other smile.

There were many times with each other that these smiles became full-fledged uncontrollable laughter…even hysterics!

She’d kill me if she were still here by my tellin this, but in all sincerity I thought about this particular experience last night, prior to goin to bed. It really is too funny, but it may be one of those you had to have been there to appreciate how funny it really was…to Deb at first, but by the time she’d reached the point in her laughing at me that she had tears streaming down her face, dern if I didn’t think it was funny too!

Here’s what happened…

Many times, prior to goin to bed at night, we’d get our baths at the same time, her in her bathtub, while I showered in my shower. We’d dry off, then sit and talk for a few minutes.

Well, I smoke and I’d have one at this point (this was the only place in the house I’d smoke, and then only once in a while), while we shot the breeze.

She’d wrap her towel around her and sit on the step beside her tub, whereas I’d towel off and just stay naked while sittin on the “john” until I finished havin my smoke. No, it wasn’t a purty sight but it was the only place for me to sit…Deb wasn’t about to give up her seat on the step.

Anyway…

We’re sittin their talkin, and again I’m havin a cig, and once I finished it, I’d chunk it in the commode and flush it. I know, I know, I shouldn’t do either one, smoke or chunk em down the commode but I do, and did. LOL! It doesn’t help when you were raised in a barn!

Well, after chunkin it into the commode, we talk a while. I THOUGHT, I felt something warm feelin to my, in the words of a layman, my testicles? Then I thought, naw, couldn’t be, so we continued conversing. A few seconds later I felt a burnin sensation once more?

All of a sudden I jump up just a screamin, cause shore enough it wasn’t just a feelin…it was REALITY, they WERE burnin!

Deb is crackin up…hard, uncontrollable laughter, while I’m goin nuts (pardon the expression), as to WHY this was takin place!! What in the world was going on???

After getting this burning situation under control, I get to tryin to figure out what in the heck had just happened? In just a second or two it was obvious where my trouble had started…

While I was finishing showering, ole Deb had used the bathroom, but had neglected to flush the dern thing figurin I probably would use it too once I stepped out of the shower…but I didn’t! I just sat down to have a place to sit and lit a cig.

This is where all this trouble started.

The toilet paper she’d used was in the commode, sure nuff, BUT, part of it wasn’t totally in the water in the bowl, thus…a part of it was still DRY! Guess where my cig landed when I chunked it in the toilet bowl? Yep…right on top of…the DRY toilet paper!

That stuff flamed up…and LIT ME UP! I came off that dern thing like I’d been gut shot, burnin to beat the band!

I again had no earthly idea what had just transpired! Deb must have figured it out immediately cause again, she was in hysterics by now! The tears were pouring down her face and in reality, she was laughing so hard she was havin trouble breathing!

When I realized what had caused the problem I looked at her and said, “Why didn’t you flush the dern thing?” She could only shake her head laughing cause her talking at that point was just not gonna happen…she was laughing hysterically!

At that point I too started laughing. It really was hysterical what had just happened. I swear we must have laughed 15 to 20 minutes…nonstop!

I’m telling you, Deb and I have laughed about that episode many, many times, and after it was over I asked if she could keep a secret. Her response… “NOT A GOOD ONE!” LOL!

But, there it is, the story of ole Deb lightin me up one night…literally! LOL!

While I’m horsin around some this morning, let’s have another laugh or two? Ya game?

What did the blonde call her pet zebra?

Spot

Did you know that Bill Clinton doesn’t use bookmarks?

He just bends over the pages.

You guys do realize we’re aging, right? Well, at least the ones from my generation anyway. The groups we all used to listen to have gotten old as well.

Any of you remember the group, the Who? They sang a song titled, “My Generation.”

They just put out a new version. It’s titled “My Medication!”

Actually several of the bands we used to listen to have released new versions to some of their greatest hits. A few examples…

Herman’s Hermits… “Mrs. Brown…You Have a Lovely Walker.”

Rolling Stones… “You Can’t Always…Pee When You Want”

Bee Gees… “How Can You Mend…A Broken Hip”

Roberta Flack- “The First Time…I Ever Forgot Your Face”

The Temptations- “Papa Got A…Kidney Stone”

The Beatles- “I Get By With A Little Help…From Depends”

And…
Marvin Gay- “I Heard It Through…The Grape Nuts”

Finishin up today, here’s a video of our cleaned up grow area, and the reason Bill Clinton wears underwear!

You guys all have a great day and God Bless! Remember…keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb