First off, I have to tell you a quick story on ole Bob. Bob you know works with me here on the place. Well, Bob rides his bicycle EVERYWHERE! You may be 5-10 miles from the house and look out your car window and there pedalin away, is ole Bob.

Anyway, I asked last week if he’d like a ride up to Publix, a grocery chain here in Florida, and he said that he’d appreciate it. So, off we went.

On the way we were just talkin and Bob said that he had heard Jeff Foxworthy talkin about people that ride bikes, and said that Foxworthy had indeed “pegged him” in regards to bike ridin.

I had no earthly idea as to what he was talkin about, although I was definitely goin to hear about it whether I wanted to or not.

So Bob rambles on about Foxworthy declarin that if you saw a man out ridin a bike, it was…exercising. BUT, if you saw a man ridin a bike with a cigarette in his hand, it was…TRANSPORTATION!

I almost fell out of the truck. Bob is so dry most times in regard to his sense of humor, when he told me this story I almost cracked up. It was absolutely hilarious to me! Ole Bob…he never ceases to amaze me!

Some of you guys know that Bob has only one ear, and most around here have designated his handle as… “one-eared Bob.” I believe Bob had a growth on it and they took it off slap even at his head. He’s a great sport about it and comes up with all kinds of tales about his situation.

He was tellin Red and I once that when they first lobbed the dern thing off, the hardest adjustment he had was simply walkin down the road, the sun at his back…and seein the shadow he was castin. Said it kinda made him feel…unbalanced!

He’s a “sports-model” for sure though.

He talks SO soft most times, and although it’s soft…it’s NON-STOP! It is aggravatin though cause you’ll be TRYIN to work, but at the same time…TRYIN to hear what Bob’s jabberin about now. You’ll be like, “BOB, speak up buddy, OR…shut-up!

He’ll look at ya a minute and go, “Sorry, but I can’t hear that well, and honestly I can’t tell that I’m talkin so softly. To me…it sounds loud! The one good ear I got left don’t work that well either.”

We just crack up!

In all sincerity though, he is one great guy, and I think the world of him. We all do.

Also, most of you guys know that our oldest daughter Michelle, and our oldest son, Josh, bought me a new puppy (before it’s over they’ll be gittin a little payback for that deal!) whom I christened… “Gyp.”

Gyp is a Catahoula Leopard Cur, and it wasn’t but just a day or two after she “landed here” at the place that I found out where “the leopard” handle came from in her breed of dog.

Her, Cheyenne, Susie and I were out up under an ole oak just hangin out one afternoon shortly after her arrival.

We’re just sittin around coolin it, and all of a sudden Cheyenne sees or hears something out in the woods behind us, lets out a growl, starts barkin and immediately runnin towards the woods behind the house, Susie carryin on right behind her.

It LITERALLY scared Gyp to death!

One minute all’s quiet, all four of us are bout half asleep, and Cheyenne just startles the heck outta the rest of us when she lets out that first bark.

I swear, Gyp jumped straight up in the air! Straight up! BUT…she never came back down! Gyp was in the oak tree, literally sittin on the first low hangin limb. That’s when it dawned on me for the first time… “LEOPARD” cur…of course! Now I git it!

She’s since gotten much better and doesn’t startle quite so easily now, although it still happens once in a while.

She’s beginning to “feel her oats” a little as well now, and thinks at times she’s just as big as the other two. That is until feedin time!

I feed everybody at the same time, scatterin their food bowls out plenty far enough that no one feels threatened. Yet, no matter HOW far apart I feed em, little Gyp just has to go and check out what the others two have for dinner!

She’ll run over to Cheyenne’s bowl and stick her head in it. That’s just about the time Cheyenne will ROLL her! Gyp shoots off yelpin…straight to Susie’s bowl! She’ll then stick her head down into that one as well. Same result!

It’s at this point that she decides what she has in HER OWN bowl kinda suits her just fine!

This happens every day, and I swear I believe that if somebody kicked my butt daily, I’d soon realize I just didn’t want to aggravate that feller again. Not Gyp though!

I was told her breed of dog was very, very intelligent, yet between us…I’m beginning to have my doubts! LOL!

Our garden is taking shape again…finally. We have gotten the okra, cucumbers, tomatoes, beets, radishes, a few onions and some squash replanted. The squash though are probably not going to make it.

I didn’t allow them enough “hardening” time in partial sun, and by this the dern things are getting their butts kicked. I’ll end up just planting them from seed in their garden spot instead of growing them off in the greenhouse first.

I knew better than to do this, BUT, I did it anyway. Hardheaded is a pretty apt description of my personality. LOL! It comes back to haunt me on occasion and the squash are a fine example of this. Deb always called it hard headed, but I call it…job security! LOL!

How bout a “Little Johnny” joke for you guys today? If anyone knows anything about ole “Little Johnny,” you know Johnny is quite the character, and most times quite risqué in his choice of adjectives when speaking. Today’s joke is pretty much along those same lines though I have “toned em” down some.

Uncle’s Bull

Little Johnny left the big city to spend a week with his Uncle, who happened to be a rancher.

Johnny had been there a day or two when all of a sudden he comes bustin through the door hollerin, “Uncle, Uncle! That dern bull of yours is screwin one of your cows!!”

His Uncle comes down the hall, sets Johnny dawn and declares, “Now Johnny, I want you to understand a thing or two. First, I know that you were born and raised in the big city. With this being the case, I know as well that you guys talk dirty at times. BUT, by us living rurally like we do, we just don’t use, nor condone such language. So if you see such as this again, PLEASE, just say that my bull is SURPRISIN one of my cows, okay?”

Jonny knods his head and goes back outside.

The next day Little Johnny comes flyin back into his Uncle’s house just a screamin, “Uncle, Uncle! That dern bull of yours is surprising EVERY cow ya got!”

His Uncle again sets Johnny down in a chair and states, “Now Johnny. Once more I understand that by you livin in the big city, you guys just might have a tendency to lie a little bit ever once in a while. With that bein the case, you and I both realize that that dern bull, as you describe him, CAN’T surprise but only ONE cow at a time, right?”

To which Little Johnny declared, “Oh no Uncle, that dern bull IS surprising EVERY cow ya got….cause he’s screwin your horse!”

Since I’ve already gotten started with the “Little Johnny” jokes, here’s one more…

The New Baby

Little Johnny’s next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby.

Little Johnny’s parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny’s dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, “Now, son…that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I’m really going to spank you when we get back home.”

“I promise not to mention his ears at all,” said Little Johnny.

At the neighbor’s home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby’s hand. He looked at its mother and said, “Oh, what a beautiful little baby!”

The mother said, “Thank you very much, Little Johnny.”

He then said, “This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?”

The Mother said, “Why, yes, his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.”

Little Johnny said, “Well, it’s a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can’t wear glasses!

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! As always…keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub

So far, so good with the garden. After getting off to a flying start this year by immediately killing about 50 +plants, we’re going along pretty good now.

If you didn’t know, well, we’d put up a greenhouse, and started most of our plants from seed. We wanted to use all heirloom varieties mainly on account of Deb’s juicing, or, our juicing. By doing so we’d have no genetically altered seeds, but in essence, basically the food God provided for us, and in Deb’s regard we felt this vital.

Quickly, while going through a Sports Illustrated” the other day, I read something that floored me, really. There was a little write up on cancer, and it claimed that in the US, 1 out of every 2 men would contract cancer in their lifetime. ONE out of every TWO! Half!

I found that just incredible?? What’s up with that?

In women’s regard…1 out of every 3. Still, 33% of women in the US today will contract cancer. Why is becoming so rampant? Is this our diets? Is it from most produce today being genetically altered? Is it what is being applied to the crops for insect control?

How about our poultry? You guys taken a look at the size of chickens lately? Hard to find a small fryer these days, or have you noticed? Is this from growth hormones? I don’t know, but I am asking…help me out somebody.

Anyway, as a whole, we’re just trying to eat a little healthier, but I did find those numbers literally staggering!

Back to my killing our first plants…we didn’t have any idea that if you’d started them from seed in a greenhouse, you had to harden them up prior to setting them in the garden in full sun. This is just setting them out in the sun for a few hours a day until they harden, or toughen up to the elements, for about a week. Once that’s done, everything works out great!

By my not knowing this, I set that first bunch straight out of the greenhouse into the garden, and killed the dern things…graveyard dead!

We have been prepping our garden out front the last couple days, and we’re pretty much ready to get started setting out some plants there now as well.

I tilled it in yesterday, both directions, and man, the soil is really looking pretty good. We’re anxious to see how it grows things off this year. We’d added cow manure and leaves over the entire garden area a couple, three months back. We let it set for about 3 weeks then tilled it in.

We then put out more oak leaves over the entire area again, and after building our grow areas around the greenhouse we put about ¾ of a semi load of compost we had leftover in it as well. This and the leaves are what I tilled in yesterday. Honestly, it’s starting to look pretty rich now.

We’ll be planting tomatoes, peppers, and okra for sure, but probably a couple other things too. We almost decided on peas too, but backed off that. We do so well with planting our peas in August, we’ll just keep planting them then!

We’ll also run irrigation to it after planting. The irrigation around the grow areas beside, and in the greenhouse, has just absolutely RUINED me. No more hose draggin if I can help it! LOL!

I’ll share some pictures of how the greenhouse is coming along, and the grow areas too. The vegetables in both are now really taking off! Everything outside when we set the plants in their hole, we added ½ teaspoon bone meal, and then filled the hole up with Jungle Growth garden soil.

Evidently it was just what the doctor ordered getting the plants started off, as again, everything looks good!

I went out earlier to check things out, plus we’d had a pretty good couple of showers, and good night, it doesn’t matter how much water you put to your plants…NOTHING works as well as rainwater! It all just looked…so alive, after the showers!

Anyway, how bout a laugh before we take a look at the garden? This comes from my sister-in-law Patricia, but just plain ole Patty to us!

God Loves Drunks Too

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk.

Here’s our watermelons on the right, our squash in the center, and eggplants on the left.

Cucumbers on the right, onions to the left, squash further left, and sweet peppers on the far left. Many of the onions we grew from seed.

Our tomatoes. Some are now on their third tie.

Red-seeded Simpson on the bottom left, iceberg in the center, and Romaine up top. Okra top right, beets scattered through it, and sweet peppers.

Japanese cucumbers…headed into the rafters.

The volunteer tomatoes headed into the rafters as well.

Another view of the tomatoes in the grow area.

Melons, squash, and eggplants again.

Melons, squash and eggplants taken from upstairs porch.

We hope you guys enjoyed the pictures! Take care and God Bless! Deb says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

Let me start off this morning by letting you guys know that our good friend Bob passed away Friday morning about 5:00 am. It’s a hard loss, but we both know that Bob is in a much better place. What a great guy he was, and we’ll all miss him.

God Bless you Bob, we sure enjoyed your company buddy!

Also, Deb and I would like to thank you all for your prayers in Bob and Linda’s behalf, and please keep Linda in your prayers.

Okay, ya’ll know we’d put in a new grow area around our greenhouse. We planted cucumbers and Beefsteak tomatoes, and dern if I haven’t gone and killed our cucumbers, and I’m doin a pretty good job of killin the maters too!

I’m one of those people that when I get an idea, then I hit it “wide open.” It doesn’t matter what it is. I’m the same way with this little endeavor. “Wide open!” Wide open has worked very well for me most times through this life of mine, but there have been times that wide open bites me slap dab in my rear-end too. This just happens to be one of em! LOL!

We brought in all the new compost to grow in, but I hit a snag, and actually a couple of them. The first being our compost is still, “hot,” so the heat generated through our compost is keeping the soil temperatures a little too hot and this is burning the roots on these young plants. Lesson #1…slow down, Dub!

Secondly, we’ve never grown off plants in a greenhouse before. Shoot, I didn’t know you were supposed to “harden” them up some prior to stickin those little fellers out in the full sun??

Shoot, ever since I was just a young pup, I’ve either started my seeds out in the garden, or bought plant sets from the feed-store or wherever, and stuck them straight into the garden as well. FULL SUN, right off the bat! Suck it up, and get tough guys…I’m waitin on you guys to produce me some groceries, let’s get with it!

Well, this is not so when first bringin them out of the greenhouse…no, no! I’ve had some very good gardeners contact me and advise me of my mistakes. They’ve all been very positive on my behalf, and they caution me on this, help me to understand that, all in simple terms.

They’ve all been very supportive and very polite. They’ll say, “you’ll learn,” or “It’s just a bump in the road,” or, “you’ll laugh at this down the road aways.” WHAT they’re really saying to themselves is… “That dern Dub’s a nut!” LOL! I can’t say what Deb calls it!

This is pretty simple to understand if you’ll stop and think it out. An example of this is our greenhouse has a white poly roof. Why? Well, it’s to knock down some of this hot Florida sun. I believe it is a 50% knockdown factor.

Well, DUH Dub…might make sense to harden those little fellers up some before you go to digging holes and droppin plants in, wouldn’t a think? Well, after killin off about 50 new sets, that hardening up some is certainly startin to make a little sense to me! How’d a thunk??

Deb says I’m…a MASS MURDERER! LOL! Deb says a lot of things though, most of which I try to let go in one ear, and right back out the other!

So, lesson # 2 today is, slow down Dub!

“Hardening” the plants, for those that don’t already know, is simply setting them out in the sun a few hours a day to let them adjust to their new environment…or hardening them up some.

Now I don’t mind them hardening up some if that’s what needs to happen, shoot, I’m all for it. I DO know though, them muthas better start hardening up pretty dern quick, cause we got a BUNCH of those little fellers comin on!

So if they don’t harden up fast, then they’re going to have another problem…they’ll be root-bound next, and that’ll be a whole nother post!! LOL!

So, I just figured out there is even a lesson #3 in today’s post…SLOW DOWN DUB, SLOW DOWN some man!! LOL!

I will say this though…I must be of man of good character. Why? Cause it doesn’t matter if I screw up, using today as an example of this, why shoot, I’m laughin about it! What a fine quality this “character thing” must be!

Trouble is, I’m beginning to wonder if it truly is “character,” or the beginning of insanity, cause I do have a tendency to screw up every once in a while! I know one thing for sure…I won’t be askin Deb’s opinion of which SHE thinks it is! I already know the answer to that one! LOL!

So, I’ll be addin a little soil to our compost, hardening up our plants prior to settin em out in the full sun, and I just might give that slowin down some a fair shake…if I can find it in me to do it!
On that note, we’ll share our latest video with you guys, discussing some of all the above!

Well, it is obvious…I did it again!

Since I’ve been poking fun at myself this morning, let’s finish up with a couple jokes…

These come to us today from our good friend Diane. She’s tiltled them, “Holy Humor.”

During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God’s Chosen People.

2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.

4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”

“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.”

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer,” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy replied. “Of course, you do “his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.” “That’s at our house.” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! Deb says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

You know, in life you have good days and then scattered throughout life you have days that sometimes just aren’t so good. One thing Deb and I have learned through the years is that most times…life is what you make it.

After her diagnosis with cancer last April Fool’s Day, I asked her was there anything that she’d like to do, anywhere she’d like to go…basically, “WHAT can I do to help? Her answer… “Nothing. I want to spend as much time as I can with the kids and grandkids, BUT, I want you to keep me laughing!” I have.

By the way, ole Deb is doing absolutely fantastic! I don’t believe she’s ever been healthier in her entire life, honestly.

So, in that spirit this morning, let’s forget about our troubles for a few minutes and have us a laugh or two! You gotta laugh, my friends. It truly is, “the best medicine!”

This first laugh comes from our sister-in-law, Patty, my brother’s wife. She’s a card herself, and Patty likes to laugh and cut up as much as we do…

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

The next comes from a good friend of ours in Live Oak. His name is Dick, and we’ve known him for years. Dick used to be our old banker many, many moons ago. He’s getting on up in age. He told me a while back that when younger, he’d run for political office. I asked him if when he ran, we were still part of the original 13 colonies? I think it went over his head…but I got a chuckle out of it!

Dear Abby,

Abby

Our next, comes from our good friend Diane. Diane is from Virginia, and once more, I believe she’s a real “sport-model!”

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

“Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say ‘hello’?”

Not tryin to start nothing this morning, but I only have just a short statement on that one…typical woman!!

This next photograph comes from that couple of “wild-childs” out of Mobile, Alabama, who both by the way…are 100%, die-hard, Florida Gator fans!! Ain’t that right Bill? Hey Bill, speak up buddy!! Sandi, you there?? LOL!!

Bill and Sandi did send this. It’s in reference to the Italian cruise ship that ran aground…

Footwear of Choice for an

Then we have our ole buddy Roger, who you NEVER know what he might be sendin ya! It could be from one end of the spectrum clear to the other end, on any number of different subjects!

Today he touches on the animal rights group…PETA. I believe he’s defining to us the words…behind the letters!!

P E T A…P-eople E-ating T-asty A-nimals

Well, that’s Roger, AND, I thought it was funny too! Good one Ra-ja!

Speakin of Roger, let’s close out today with one more from Roger…the Italian Funeral!

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about
200 men walking single file.

The man replied, “Get in line.”

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! As always, the Missus says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

We had a big event at our house last night around 10:00 pm…RAIN! You betcha! I’m not sure how much we had yet since its only 3:40 this morning, but at 10 it was comin down in sheets. It was supposed to come in several times, with most just a good soakin rain, but the first batch was a “toad-strangler!”

Man, we were needin it. We’d just planted a few rows in the garden this past week, and the pastures were bone dry. The weather has been warm enough for the grass to grow, but the problem was that it was just too dry to do anything.

So, we’ve now had rain, but there’s a cool snap right behind it. They’re callin for a 39 in Tampa in the morning, followed by a 37 the following morning. So here at our place we’ll be lookin at mid-30’s or possibly a little cooler. We’re always 4-5 degrees cooler than Tampa proper.

Well, I don’t know about most of you, but Deb and I both like a good laugh. We’re always getting e-mails that are pretty funny, so this morning I thought that we’d share a few of these with ya’ll. It never hurts to laugh, and maybe we can put a smile on a few faces today!

Let’s start off with… “The Perfect Man.” This was sent to us by Bill and Sandy, from Mobile.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker
function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to
listen.

He turns and asks, “Anyone know who’s phone this is?”

As soon as ole Deb read this, she turns around, looks at me and says, “THAT sounds just like something you’d do!” Where do these dern women come up with such observations is what I’d like to know!

Our next chuckle comes from Bill and Sandy once more. I believe ALL they do is garden, watch Alabama “Crimson Tide” football, and tell jokes! They’re both nice as can be, and Deb and I both think the world of those two!

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” Diane replied in her sweetest voice, “I will, Honey, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!”

This one comes from our “ole buddy,” Roger in Virginia. Roger’s a great guy, and a VERY firm believer in our Constitution and the freedoms and liberties it provides for us all! Evidently he’s a great cook, AND…the guy can sew! Sorry Rajah…I couldn’t resist! LOL!

His name was Bubba, he was from Mississippi , and he needed a loan, so…he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an international Redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The good ‘ole boy replied, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”

This next one comes from…Bill and Sandy!!

A Sharing Marriage…

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

She answered… “THE TEETH.”

We’ll close today with a video sent to us by Roger….

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! Deb says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

I wish I could report to you guys it was on account of Deb keeping me up to all hours of the night, and sometimes she does. I mean, just the other night I sat up with her for quite some time…she wanted to talk…and talk…and TALK!

Shoot, by the time she finally dozed off to sleep…it was dern near 9:30!!Yeah…AT NIGHT! Believe that?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have to get my sleep. Two or three nights in a row of keeping those kind of hours, and that really puts a strain on a “workin man!” LOL!

I gotta tell you though. Around here anymore the word exciting has taken on a WHOLE different meaning! Let me see…I’m tryin to come up with an example or two, to show you what I’m talking about. Hmmmmm…

Well, ah, Dale came to work last week, and was on time TWO of those days. That was kinda exciting.

Then, Deb went to the mall last week, with her and RED together, I was REALLY sweatin that one! She picked up a jacket, 3 or 4 sweaters, I think a dern bra or two and I’m POSITIVE they stopped somewhere for lunch.

Now she only spent about a hundred and a half, so between us…I was very, very happy with that amount! Almost…EXCITED!

Ole Red gets in the truck with her, “goin to town,” normally I’m in trouble! So I really was excited that was all those two spent!

BUT…I think…they think…they’d pulled the wool over my eyes, because while Deb and I were sitting in the swing talking, I saw Red coming out from behind the truck with Cheyenne and Susie, our two dogs. OOPS, I’m sorry, Susie IS a dog, BUT, Cheyenne is “our little girl!” She’d be ticked to no end if she heard me referring to her as…“A DOG!”

The point with Red coming out behind the truck with our dog and “little girl,” is simply he had an empty paper sack in his hand…the kind you might pack someone’s lunch in. You getting the picture here?

Upon seeing that sack in Red’s hand, I asked them where the two liter was? He and Deb looked at each other, and then Deb says, “Oh, it’s still in the truck…we FORGOT! Yeah, that’s what she told me, “they’d forgot,” to take it out of the truck. Well, that excited me too…in a different kinda way!

The reason, well, it’s simple. Before they left for the mall, I explained to them that there was no need to stop, eat lunch, and spend that money. Go on, shop and get what you need, no problem.

As for lunch, well, I got you and Red covered. I made you guy’s two, half baloney sandwiches apiece with mustard, and put a two liter of coke in the sack too, along with a plastic cup…ya’ll can just share that. Really, coke ain’t half bad “lukewarm,” and I don’t believe it’s supposed to get out of the seventies today though, so that coke outta be just fine! At least that WAS the plan!

I can’t prove it, BUT, I guarantee you they tossed those baloney sandwiches, stopped, eat lunch somewhere, and then back to the house. Once here, they’re telling me that the baloney WAS so good, and just how proud they are of me for tryin to look after them like I do!

I’m like, “Okay, you ate the sandwiches, I believe you. SO, why didn’t you drink any of the two liter?” Their answer??

“We just weren’t thirsty!!” Yep, that’s what they told me…”we weren’t thirsty!” They’d eaten TWO, half baloney sandwiches, yet weren’t thirsty…go figure!

You gotta watch those two by themselves, but TOGETHER, good gracious, they’ll get you if you aint careful! So, by my JUST being around those two, I guess you could describe my life… as exciting!

They won’t try to pull the wool over my eyes again for a while, so next time they go, I’ll pack em a lunch they’ll REALLY like…potted meat! That’ll teach em who “butters their toast!”

So as you guys can plainly see…the word “exciting” really just ain’t what it used to be, say like when you’re 25 or so. Exciting back then to me, was a whole nother ball game…wouldn’t you agree?

BUT, this word does still have its moments. You want a good example of this…alright!

Our website.

Since we started doing this site, we have met so many wonderful people. It has been overwhelming to Deb and I, the amount of feedback through shared information and knowledge, concern and prayers, the laughs and jokes we’ve shared, the stories we’ve told or been told, the recipes, or just good, common advice you guys share with us.

Through your response and involvement, we’ve learned so much about people and the goodness in your hearts. This has been one of the most pleasurable experiences Deb and I have ever been involved in. You guys have been just great.

So with that being said, let me express our sincere thanks for all your support and love shown our way, through this site. You all have brought a lot of joy into our lives, and we consider ourselves very lucky to call many of you anymore…our friends! Many of you even becoming extended members of our family.

So, let me wind up this part of today’s story by telling you guys…thanks! Thanks for continuing to make an old man’s life… “EXCITIN!!”

Now, how bout a joke or two.

The first two come from our Virginia buddy, Roger, once again. The third comes from Washington State, and our friend Edith. Thank you guys for sending them to us!!

Bad Parrot:

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude, and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Bear Removal:

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?

“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.

The Bear remover declares, “If the bear knocks me off the roof, for God’s sake, SHOOT THE DOG!”

The Brain Transplant:

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

“The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain…”

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

“Why is the male brain so much more?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used.”

Edith also sent Deb and I a video we thought was really cute! We’d talked about a “bear remover” a little earlier, and this video is of a bear and her two cubs…check it out!

One more funny saying before we get outta here today. This one comes from Diane.

“A lion will not cheat on his wife…but a Tiger Wood!”

You guys have a great day, and God Bless. As Deb says, keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb