Let’s change gears this morning and instead a wastin my breath talkin bout them dad-gum politicians, let’s talk some groceries, and this other thing my Mama and Daddy used to talk with me about…getting older.

For those who have yet to experience this getting older thing, I gotta tell ya…it’s comin! Got here A LOT sooner than I ever thought possible!

Shoot, I’m sailin along in my twenties, then got to them thirties, and all of a sudden, WHAM…I’m tippin forty!

I’ve been forty now for, hmmm, let’s see, well, bout seventeen years now!

Forty plus…that’s me!

Anyway, Lucky and I stopped by a phone store last night. There was an older couple in there and we kinda struck up a conversation with em.

Actually, they really didn’t have a choice cause I’m pretty good at that dern “striking up a conversation” thing.

I talked…and they listened.

The husband was 85, and his wife was 83. I mean, what were they gonna do…run off?

I ain’t bragging or nuthin, but I believe if they’d give me any lip bout my conversin with em…I could of whippin em both!

Seriously though, they were a really, really nice couple. We shot the bull with em, and Lucky and I both enjoyed their company.

The salesman that helped us, Steven, and a great guy, is 25. We’ve seen him twice, and I have to tell you that I was very impressed with his knowledge, his politeness, AND his WORK ethic.

Very, very impressive young man.

I told him so, too. In this day and age it is so good to see a young man or woman, who enjoy their job, and even more…HAVE a dern job!

Anyway, as Lucky and I were finishin up, I was tellin Steven to enjoy his youth…it goes away much faster than you could ever dream.

You know, the work hard Steven, apply yourself, and with your work ethic and personality, you can go far. Only YOU can prevent your own success…nobody else.

I also told him, half-jokingly that lookin at my own life…it was pretty sad.

My reasonin for this…shoot, I’d just spent an hour or two laughin and cutting up with an 85 and 83 year-old and…had ENJOYED IT! LOL!

We left there and stopped by the grocery store to pick up a couple things.

Lucky was pickin up a bunch of bananas when I pulled up with the cart and I hollered, “Uh-uh…don’t buy those green bananas!! Get them dern ripe ones!”

By doin so, I KNOW I can probably get to eat em for something happens to me!

A few other examples of getting older are…

I got up the other morning and went to wash my face and shave. I looked in the mirror and said…
“Dad???”

Then the other day, Lucky and I were up town and this gorgeous woman walks by, and I got to thinkin,
“Dern, I wonder what her MOM looks like???”

A buddy of mine asked me the other day if I remembered Preparation H?
I told him, “Shoot, I’m so old I remember when they come out with…PREPARATION A!”

Ya know, I’d mentioned Lucky and I had stopped by the phone store and met that fine older couple.

They shared with us a few of their abbreviations while textin…

BFF- Best Friend Fainted
BYOT—Bring Your Own Teeth
LMDO—Laughin My Dentures Out
And…
GGPBL- Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low

I was readin to Lucky the other night where the Senate was investigatin deceptive practices targetin the elderly, and bilkin them outta their money, and I asked her to guess the worst one…
She asked sincerely… “I dunno, Social Security?”

Had a buddy tell me the other day he knew HE was getting old, when he realized, he had 25 house plants at home and…I can’t smoke any of em!”

Lucky and I were at the Doctor’s office last week when I wasn’t feelin well.

He comes back in and says, “Lucky, your husband’s getting older and needs rest and some quiet time, so here’s some sleepin pills.”
Lucky asked him, “When should I give em to him Doc?”
The Doctor replied, “They’re not for him Lucky, they’re…FOR YOU!”

I love my Doctor!
LMDO!

But ya really know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than your cake!

Now…bout them groceries!

Lucky LOVES to hunt and fish, and to be quite honest, she’s good at both. She’d rather fish or sit in her tree-stand than eat.

She keeps her game camera goin, and last year she got a picture of a Florida panther, which I thought pretty neat. I’d never seen one in the wild before.

I ain’t sure bout the count she gave me, but I think she said her camera had caught on film 37 illegal aliens too.

Jus kiddin.

But you guys did see where the illegals are now claimin “They ain’t gonna take it anymore,” and promise a more radical approach?”

Here illegally, but ain’t gonna take it anymore?? Good night a livin folks, oh yeah…the groceries.

Sorry! (possibly more bout that later??

Anyway, today’s recipes come once more from Kathrine’s cookbook, “Cedar Creek Game Cookbook.”

Sweet and Sour Venison:

2 lbs. venison steaks, ¼”

2 tbsp. lemon juice

1 can beef consume

2 tbsp. brown sugar

1 tsp. savory salt

¼ cup, chopped green onions, tops included

1 clove garlic

1/3 cup soy sauce

Cut steaks ¼” thick, diagonally across the grain. Combine other ingredients, pour over meat strips and marinate in fridge overnight. After draining, broil about 4 inches from heat until tender. Serves 4.

Juanita’s Spanish Rice:

6 slices of bacon

2 bell peppers, sliced

3 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

2 tsp. garlic salt

1 cup uncooked rice

2 large onions, sliced

5 cups canned tomatoes, or if you have, use fresh tomatoes

Salt and pepper to taste

1 lb. ground beef

Fry bacon slowly until crisp. Remove from pan and pour off the dripping. Brown onions, peppers and ground beef in remainder of bacon drippings. Add seasonings and crumbled bacon.
Add warmed tomatoes or steamed fresh ones, stir in uncooked rice and cook slowly. Stir often or it may stick. If the mixture seems too dry, add more tomatoes or water. Cook until rive is tender, about 45 minutes.

Indian Meal Pudding:

¾ cup corn meal

3 quarts milk

6 cups finely cut apples

3 tsp. salt

3 tsp. ground ginger

1-1/2 cup molasses

Scald milk, add corn meal and cook 30 minutes. Add remaining ingredients and pour into buttered baking dish. Bake on 350 for 1 hour stirring occasionally. Serves 12.

I’d stay and visit a little longer with ya my friends, but GGPBL!

LOL!

You guys have a great day and God bless. Please be sure to, “Keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!”

Doug and Lucky

First off, I have to tell you a quick story on ole Bob. Bob you know works with me here on the place. Well, Bob rides his bicycle EVERYWHERE! You may be 5-10 miles from the house and look out your car window and there pedalin away, is ole Bob.

Anyway, I asked last week if he’d like a ride up to Publix, a grocery chain here in Florida, and he said that he’d appreciate it. So, off we went.

On the way we were just talkin and Bob said that he had heard Jeff Foxworthy talkin about people that ride bikes, and said that Foxworthy had indeed “pegged him” in regards to bike ridin.

I had no earthly idea as to what he was talkin about, although I was definitely goin to hear about it whether I wanted to or not.

So Bob rambles on about Foxworthy declarin that if you saw a man out ridin a bike, it was…exercising. BUT, if you saw a man ridin a bike with a cigarette in his hand, it was…TRANSPORTATION!

I almost fell out of the truck. Bob is so dry most times in regard to his sense of humor, when he told me this story I almost cracked up. It was absolutely hilarious to me! Ole Bob…he never ceases to amaze me!

Some of you guys know that Bob has only one ear, and most around here have designated his handle as… “one-eared Bob.” I believe Bob had a growth on it and they took it off slap even at his head. He’s a great sport about it and comes up with all kinds of tales about his situation.

He was tellin Red and I once that when they first lobbed the dern thing off, the hardest adjustment he had was simply walkin down the road, the sun at his back…and seein the shadow he was castin. Said it kinda made him feel…unbalanced!

He’s a “sports-model” for sure though.

He talks SO soft most times, and although it’s soft…it’s NON-STOP! It is aggravatin though cause you’ll be TRYIN to work, but at the same time…TRYIN to hear what Bob’s jabberin about now. You’ll be like, “BOB, speak up buddy, OR…shut-up!

He’ll look at ya a minute and go, “Sorry, but I can’t hear that well, and honestly I can’t tell that I’m talkin so softly. To me…it sounds loud! The one good ear I got left don’t work that well either.”

We just crack up!

In all sincerity though, he is one great guy, and I think the world of him. We all do.

Also, most of you guys know that our oldest daughter Michelle, and our oldest son, Josh, bought me a new puppy (before it’s over they’ll be gittin a little payback for that deal!) whom I christened… “Gyp.”

Gyp is a Catahoula Leopard Cur, and it wasn’t but just a day or two after she “landed here” at the place that I found out where “the leopard” handle came from in her breed of dog.

Her, Cheyenne, Susie and I were out up under an ole oak just hangin out one afternoon shortly after her arrival.

We’re just sittin around coolin it, and all of a sudden Cheyenne sees or hears something out in the woods behind us, lets out a growl, starts barkin and immediately runnin towards the woods behind the house, Susie carryin on right behind her.

It LITERALLY scared Gyp to death!

One minute all’s quiet, all four of us are bout half asleep, and Cheyenne just startles the heck outta the rest of us when she lets out that first bark.

I swear, Gyp jumped straight up in the air! Straight up! BUT…she never came back down! Gyp was in the oak tree, literally sittin on the first low hangin limb. That’s when it dawned on me for the first time… “LEOPARD” cur…of course! Now I git it!

She’s since gotten much better and doesn’t startle quite so easily now, although it still happens once in a while.

She’s beginning to “feel her oats” a little as well now, and thinks at times she’s just as big as the other two. That is until feedin time!

I feed everybody at the same time, scatterin their food bowls out plenty far enough that no one feels threatened. Yet, no matter HOW far apart I feed em, little Gyp just has to go and check out what the others two have for dinner!

She’ll run over to Cheyenne’s bowl and stick her head in it. That’s just about the time Cheyenne will ROLL her! Gyp shoots off yelpin…straight to Susie’s bowl! She’ll then stick her head down into that one as well. Same result!

It’s at this point that she decides what she has in HER OWN bowl kinda suits her just fine!

This happens every day, and I swear I believe that if somebody kicked my butt daily, I’d soon realize I just didn’t want to aggravate that feller again. Not Gyp though!

I was told her breed of dog was very, very intelligent, yet between us…I’m beginning to have my doubts! LOL!

Our garden is taking shape again…finally. We have gotten the okra, cucumbers, tomatoes, beets, radishes, a few onions and some squash replanted. The squash though are probably not going to make it.

I didn’t allow them enough “hardening” time in partial sun, and by this the dern things are getting their butts kicked. I’ll end up just planting them from seed in their garden spot instead of growing them off in the greenhouse first.

I knew better than to do this, BUT, I did it anyway. Hardheaded is a pretty apt description of my personality. LOL! It comes back to haunt me on occasion and the squash are a fine example of this. Deb always called it hard headed, but I call it…job security! LOL!

How bout a “Little Johnny” joke for you guys today? If anyone knows anything about ole “Little Johnny,” you know Johnny is quite the character, and most times quite risqué in his choice of adjectives when speaking. Today’s joke is pretty much along those same lines though I have “toned em” down some.

Uncle’s Bull

Little Johnny left the big city to spend a week with his Uncle, who happened to be a rancher.

Johnny had been there a day or two when all of a sudden he comes bustin through the door hollerin, “Uncle, Uncle! That dern bull of yours is screwin one of your cows!!”

His Uncle comes down the hall, sets Johnny dawn and declares, “Now Johnny, I want you to understand a thing or two. First, I know that you were born and raised in the big city. With this being the case, I know as well that you guys talk dirty at times. BUT, by us living rurally like we do, we just don’t use, nor condone such language. So if you see such as this again, PLEASE, just say that my bull is SURPRISIN one of my cows, okay?”

Jonny knods his head and goes back outside.

The next day Little Johnny comes flyin back into his Uncle’s house just a screamin, “Uncle, Uncle! That dern bull of yours is surprising EVERY cow ya got!”

His Uncle again sets Johnny down in a chair and states, “Now Johnny. Once more I understand that by you livin in the big city, you guys just might have a tendency to lie a little bit ever once in a while. With that bein the case, you and I both realize that that dern bull, as you describe him, CAN’T surprise but only ONE cow at a time, right?”

To which Little Johnny declared, “Oh no Uncle, that dern bull IS surprising EVERY cow ya got….cause he’s screwin your horse!”

Since I’ve already gotten started with the “Little Johnny” jokes, here’s one more…

The New Baby

Little Johnny’s next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby.

Little Johnny’s parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny’s dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, “Now, son…that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I’m really going to spank you when we get back home.”

“I promise not to mention his ears at all,” said Little Johnny.

At the neighbor’s home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby’s hand. He looked at its mother and said, “Oh, what a beautiful little baby!”

The mother said, “Thank you very much, Little Johnny.”

He then said, “This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?”

The Mother said, “Why, yes, his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.”

Little Johnny said, “Well, it’s a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can’t wear glasses!

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! As always…keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub

You know, in life you have good days and then scattered throughout life you have days that sometimes just aren’t so good. One thing Deb and I have learned through the years is that most times…life is what you make it.

After her diagnosis with cancer last April Fool’s Day, I asked her was there anything that she’d like to do, anywhere she’d like to go…basically, “WHAT can I do to help? Her answer… “Nothing. I want to spend as much time as I can with the kids and grandkids, BUT, I want you to keep me laughing!” I have.

By the way, ole Deb is doing absolutely fantastic! I don’t believe she’s ever been healthier in her entire life, honestly.

So, in that spirit this morning, let’s forget about our troubles for a few minutes and have us a laugh or two! You gotta laugh, my friends. It truly is, “the best medicine!”

This first laugh comes from our sister-in-law, Patty, my brother’s wife. She’s a card herself, and Patty likes to laugh and cut up as much as we do…

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

The next comes from a good friend of ours in Live Oak. His name is Dick, and we’ve known him for years. Dick used to be our old banker many, many moons ago. He’s getting on up in age. He told me a while back that when younger, he’d run for political office. I asked him if when he ran, we were still part of the original 13 colonies? I think it went over his head…but I got a chuckle out of it!

Dear Abby,

Abby

Our next, comes from our good friend Diane. Diane is from Virginia, and once more, I believe she’s a real “sport-model!”

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

“Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say ‘hello’?”

Not tryin to start nothing this morning, but I only have just a short statement on that one…typical woman!!

This next photograph comes from that couple of “wild-childs” out of Mobile, Alabama, who both by the way…are 100%, die-hard, Florida Gator fans!! Ain’t that right Bill? Hey Bill, speak up buddy!! Sandi, you there?? LOL!!

Bill and Sandi did send this. It’s in reference to the Italian cruise ship that ran aground…

Footwear of Choice for an

Then we have our ole buddy Roger, who you NEVER know what he might be sendin ya! It could be from one end of the spectrum clear to the other end, on any number of different subjects!

Today he touches on the animal rights group…PETA. I believe he’s defining to us the words…behind the letters!!

P E T A…P-eople E-ating T-asty A-nimals

Well, that’s Roger, AND, I thought it was funny too! Good one Ra-ja!

Speakin of Roger, let’s close out today with one more from Roger…the Italian Funeral!

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about
200 men walking single file.

The man replied, “Get in line.”

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! As always, the Missus says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

We had a big event at our house last night around 10:00 pm…RAIN! You betcha! I’m not sure how much we had yet since its only 3:40 this morning, but at 10 it was comin down in sheets. It was supposed to come in several times, with most just a good soakin rain, but the first batch was a “toad-strangler!”

Man, we were needin it. We’d just planted a few rows in the garden this past week, and the pastures were bone dry. The weather has been warm enough for the grass to grow, but the problem was that it was just too dry to do anything.

So, we’ve now had rain, but there’s a cool snap right behind it. They’re callin for a 39 in Tampa in the morning, followed by a 37 the following morning. So here at our place we’ll be lookin at mid-30’s or possibly a little cooler. We’re always 4-5 degrees cooler than Tampa proper.

Well, I don’t know about most of you, but Deb and I both like a good laugh. We’re always getting e-mails that are pretty funny, so this morning I thought that we’d share a few of these with ya’ll. It never hurts to laugh, and maybe we can put a smile on a few faces today!

Let’s start off with… “The Perfect Man.” This was sent to us by Bill and Sandy, from Mobile.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker
function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to
listen.

He turns and asks, “Anyone know who’s phone this is?”

As soon as ole Deb read this, she turns around, looks at me and says, “THAT sounds just like something you’d do!” Where do these dern women come up with such observations is what I’d like to know!

Our next chuckle comes from Bill and Sandy once more. I believe ALL they do is garden, watch Alabama “Crimson Tide” football, and tell jokes! They’re both nice as can be, and Deb and I both think the world of those two!

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” Diane replied in her sweetest voice, “I will, Honey, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!”

This one comes from our “ole buddy,” Roger in Virginia. Roger’s a great guy, and a VERY firm believer in our Constitution and the freedoms and liberties it provides for us all! Evidently he’s a great cook, AND…the guy can sew! Sorry Rajah…I couldn’t resist! LOL!

His name was Bubba, he was from Mississippi , and he needed a loan, so…he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an international Redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The good ‘ole boy replied, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”

This next one comes from…Bill and Sandy!!

A Sharing Marriage…

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

She answered… “THE TEETH.”

We’ll close today with a video sent to us by Roger….

You guys have a great day, and God Bless! Deb says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

Well, Friday morning Deb and I are going to take a little trip. We’ll be gone 10-14 days, and we’ll be taking along our “baby girl,” Cheyenne along too. Deb says she ain’t going without ole “Shiny girl.” I suggested they stay here and I’d go alone, but that ain’t gonna fly. I wonder why??

Anyway I told her we needed to take a break and get away for a few days and she said, “Where to?”

I suggested Orlando, it’s about 20 minutes from us, and she said, “No way!” I asked her, “Why, is it too far to drive? If so, we can stay a little closer to home if you’d like…we don’t really HAVE to go that far if you don’t want to.”

Well, she’s JUST NOW started speaking to me again! I swear, I’ll never figure a woman out! I did tell her that I’d take her on a trip, but shoot, I figured Orlando would be far enough! Wouldn’t you?

You guys can weigh in on this too, if you’d like. I’d kinda like hearing from you on this one. If you feel I’m right in this thinking…please let Deb know, okay?

Actually we’re going to Vicksburg, Mississippi for 4-5 days first off. We’re headed out there to meet a woman and her family for the first time. We met this lady through our website, and what a good friend she has become to Deb and I.

You’ve seen her comments many times, and she is a wonderful person. She’s the lady you all know as “Mississippi” on our site. She is who supplied us with that delicious fried okra recipe.

Her name is Sandra, and actually Sandra has become a part of our extended family. Sandra started commenting on some of our columns, and she and I started corresponding back and forth like we do with so many of ya’ll anymore.

Then Deb was diagnosed with cancer, and her and Deb have spent many hours on the phone together since. Those two all of a sudden had a common bond after Deb’s diagnosis…Sandra had cancer too.

Sandra has been fighting cancer since 1998. She’s been undergoing chemo on and off since 1998, and last week Sandra received wonderful news…CANCER FREE!! Isn’t that just the greatest thing? We’re so very happy for her and her family.

We had the trip planned prior to her getting her all clear, but this is literally the icing on the cake for our trip. We’re just ecstatic over her good news, and we can’t wait to get there and hug her neck! This has been a long time coming for her, and bless her heart, she deserves all the good things that come her way!

We’re also looking forward to…some good eats while we’re there! I’m just willing to bet them Mississippi women can put some good groceries on the table! I personally…can’t wait.

I’ll be in kinda a Catch 22 while there though. First off, I’ve been on a diet, plus trying to basically eat most of the things Deb has been needing and eating, such as fresh fruits and vegetables. This along with MORE fresh fruits and vegetables! LOL!

Since trying to eat more along the lines of what Deb’s been needing, I’ve lost 36 pounds. I got on the scales at Winn-Dixie earlier today and was down to 279 from, well, you do the math…

But, my dilemma is this…I sure don’t want these nice people putting on the feedbag, and them feeling like maybe I don’t like there cooking. I gotta tell you, if they thought that, well, that just might break my heart. We sure don’t want to do that, do we?? Heck No!

So, I’m leaning towards eating enough so they know I enjoyed it. LOL!

Anyway, we’re looking forward to finally meeting Sandra and her family face to face. Deb said that Sandra had told her that she’d have everybody there, waving at us when we pull up.

Deb says, “Well, Sandra, you think they’ll be waving to beat the band when we pull up, if you REALLY want to see em waving at us, then just wait until they see us pulling out!” She told Sandra also, “That they’ll be so happy we’re leaving, they might just throw a shoulder out of socket!”

I told Deb after she’d told me about it, “To speak for herself, they might actually LIKE me!”

Once we leave Sandra, we’ll head down to Gulfport to see one of Deb’s sister’s, Joyce, and her two daughters, Karen and Amanda. Joyce has already put in her order for fresh peas, I knew I shouldn’t have made a video of our food storage room dad-gummit!

But I told Deb not to worry, I’d already pulled a pint of peas off the shelf, and dern if they ain’t got Joyce’s name written all over them! Deb said, “A PINT?” I told her if she didn’t want to take Joyce that many, I’d just dump her a jelly jar full!

I swear, in Deb’s regard, I don’t know whether I’m comin or goin. She says Joyce wants some peas, I grab a pint, tell Deb what I’ve got…and she gets mad?? Well, what’s she mad at?? Am I giving too many peas away, or does she feel a pint isn’t enough?? You know, if they’d just come out and tell you what they wanted you to take them, wouldn’t life be much simpler? I’d think so! LOL!

Seriously though Joyce is gonna get her peas, and we’re looking forward to seein her and her family too. Joyce, I believe, is a blackjack dealer at one of the casino’s, so man, I’m gonna have to keep ole Deb on a short leash!

Oh that woman sure might like to gamble some, and she has only one drawback which pertains to gambling…she ain’t very good at it!! Hence…the short leash statement!

But, we’re going for a good time, and I’ll be the first one to admit it, and the loudest to shout it…she deserves this getaway! Since her diagnosis, she has worked so very hard in fighting this, and I’m here to tell you…she’s doing one heck of a job! This IS her trip, and she’s welcome to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. This one…is on me!

We’ve been really busy lately, and on top of that we’re trying to get our stuff together. But I told her to don’t worry about anything the next two to three days. By giving her these next few days off, so to speak, I figure that ought to give her PLENTY of time to get out on the road shoulder and pick up enough aluminum cans so she can have her a little jingle in her pocket…to gamble with!

See, I pretty much think of everything, huh?

We’ve got a little surprise while we’re in Gulfport. We have two other readers, Sandy and Bill, from Mobile. You know these guys too, if you’ve read us very long. They’re our two friends from Alabama who have been supplying me with the Bama football team jokes, and Sandy comments from time to time as well.

Well, Sandy and Bill are going to meet us in Gulfport too. We’ve never met these guys face to face either, but boy, we’re sure looking forward to it! They’re just good, down to earth people too.

Once leaving Gulfport, we may stop by their home on the way back. We’ve got to stop in Lucedale, Mississippi on our way home to look at a mobile kitchen. Deb and I are contemplating getting one and starting a barbeque stand…you know our motto already…“you’d have to be a rooster…to get a better piece of chicken!” Now, if you were driving by, and saw that quote…you’d just HAVE to stop and try it, wouldn’t you? Yeah, you would!

Anyway, we’re not going just to buy one outright. We just want to see what’s out there, how they’re set up, and the cost.

We have talked about one for the last couple of years. People will come over, eat with us and go, “Man, you guys ought to have a restaurant, this is GOOD!” I’m like, “Oh, really? It’s free right now. Would you still come and tell us how GOOD it is, if we were charging you $7 bucks a plate??” LOL!

Actually though, we’d just about talked ourselves into one, and then…Deb was diagnosed with cancer. For those who remember this, her prognosis wasn’t good at all. 8 to 9 months without treatment, so that knocked our barbeque stand in the head.

Well, now we’re 8 months into it and Deb looks, and feels great, so, we’re beginning to rethink this little venture. She has been telling me now for the last couple months, I’m ready to do this if you are, so we’ll see. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t but we are looking at it again…

But as you guys can see, our trip is based upon people we’ve met through this site. Once again, Deb and I would like to thank everyone of ya’ll for being so supportive of “Ridin Out the Recession.”

This site has made this trip available to us. This site has allowed these friendships to nourish, and hopefully this continues to be the case. We love each and every one of you guys, and because of you, we look forward to getting a new column back up, and visiting with you all once again!

If any of you live close enough to possibly “hook up” with us while we’re gone, we’d love to see, and meet you as well. Drop us a line, and I’ll send you our cell phone numbers, and who knows…the more the merrier!

God Bless you and yours, and Deb says TO BE SURE and keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

I wish I could report to you guys it was on account of Deb keeping me up to all hours of the night, and sometimes she does. I mean, just the other night I sat up with her for quite some time…she wanted to talk…and talk…and TALK!

Shoot, by the time she finally dozed off to sleep…it was dern near 9:30!!Yeah…AT NIGHT! Believe that?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have to get my sleep. Two or three nights in a row of keeping those kind of hours, and that really puts a strain on a “workin man!” LOL!

I gotta tell you though. Around here anymore the word exciting has taken on a WHOLE different meaning! Let me see…I’m tryin to come up with an example or two, to show you what I’m talking about. Hmmmmm…

Well, ah, Dale came to work last week, and was on time TWO of those days. That was kinda exciting.

Then, Deb went to the mall last week, with her and RED together, I was REALLY sweatin that one! She picked up a jacket, 3 or 4 sweaters, I think a dern bra or two and I’m POSITIVE they stopped somewhere for lunch.

Now she only spent about a hundred and a half, so between us…I was very, very happy with that amount! Almost…EXCITED!

Ole Red gets in the truck with her, “goin to town,” normally I’m in trouble! So I really was excited that was all those two spent!

BUT…I think…they think…they’d pulled the wool over my eyes, because while Deb and I were sitting in the swing talking, I saw Red coming out from behind the truck with Cheyenne and Susie, our two dogs. OOPS, I’m sorry, Susie IS a dog, BUT, Cheyenne is “our little girl!” She’d be ticked to no end if she heard me referring to her as…“A DOG!”

The point with Red coming out behind the truck with our dog and “little girl,” is simply he had an empty paper sack in his hand…the kind you might pack someone’s lunch in. You getting the picture here?

Upon seeing that sack in Red’s hand, I asked them where the two liter was? He and Deb looked at each other, and then Deb says, “Oh, it’s still in the truck…we FORGOT! Yeah, that’s what she told me, “they’d forgot,” to take it out of the truck. Well, that excited me too…in a different kinda way!

The reason, well, it’s simple. Before they left for the mall, I explained to them that there was no need to stop, eat lunch, and spend that money. Go on, shop and get what you need, no problem.

As for lunch, well, I got you and Red covered. I made you guy’s two, half baloney sandwiches apiece with mustard, and put a two liter of coke in the sack too, along with a plastic cup…ya’ll can just share that. Really, coke ain’t half bad “lukewarm,” and I don’t believe it’s supposed to get out of the seventies today though, so that coke outta be just fine! At least that WAS the plan!

I can’t prove it, BUT, I guarantee you they tossed those baloney sandwiches, stopped, eat lunch somewhere, and then back to the house. Once here, they’re telling me that the baloney WAS so good, and just how proud they are of me for tryin to look after them like I do!

I’m like, “Okay, you ate the sandwiches, I believe you. SO, why didn’t you drink any of the two liter?” Their answer??

“We just weren’t thirsty!!” Yep, that’s what they told me…”we weren’t thirsty!” They’d eaten TWO, half baloney sandwiches, yet weren’t thirsty…go figure!

You gotta watch those two by themselves, but TOGETHER, good gracious, they’ll get you if you aint careful! So, by my JUST being around those two, I guess you could describe my life… as exciting!

They won’t try to pull the wool over my eyes again for a while, so next time they go, I’ll pack em a lunch they’ll REALLY like…potted meat! That’ll teach em who “butters their toast!”

So as you guys can plainly see…the word “exciting” really just ain’t what it used to be, say like when you’re 25 or so. Exciting back then to me, was a whole nother ball game…wouldn’t you agree?

BUT, this word does still have its moments. You want a good example of this…alright!

Our website.

Since we started doing this site, we have met so many wonderful people. It has been overwhelming to Deb and I, the amount of feedback through shared information and knowledge, concern and prayers, the laughs and jokes we’ve shared, the stories we’ve told or been told, the recipes, or just good, common advice you guys share with us.

Through your response and involvement, we’ve learned so much about people and the goodness in your hearts. This has been one of the most pleasurable experiences Deb and I have ever been involved in. You guys have been just great.

So with that being said, let me express our sincere thanks for all your support and love shown our way, through this site. You all have brought a lot of joy into our lives, and we consider ourselves very lucky to call many of you anymore…our friends! Many of you even becoming extended members of our family.

So, let me wind up this part of today’s story by telling you guys…thanks! Thanks for continuing to make an old man’s life… “EXCITIN!!”

Now, how bout a joke or two.

The first two come from our Virginia buddy, Roger, once again. The third comes from Washington State, and our friend Edith. Thank you guys for sending them to us!!

Bad Parrot:

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude, and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Bear Removal:

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?

“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.

The Bear remover declares, “If the bear knocks me off the roof, for God’s sake, SHOOT THE DOG!”

The Brain Transplant:

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

“The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain…”

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

“Why is the male brain so much more?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used.”

Edith also sent Deb and I a video we thought was really cute! We’d talked about a “bear remover” a little earlier, and this video is of a bear and her two cubs…check it out!

One more funny saying before we get outta here today. This one comes from Diane.

“A lion will not cheat on his wife…but a Tiger Wood!”

You guys have a great day, and God Bless. As Deb says, keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb