Today we’re gonna let our hair down a little and look at the humor of, and the humor directed at red necks.

Living in the South, we have had the handle “red neck” hung on us. We, meaning all of us natural born Southern folks, and the label, “natural born” not to be takin lightly. Why you might ask, well, that’s actually pretty simple. We have papers documenting it as so.

Being a redneck myself, I heard one the other day I thought really funny. Here goes…

What is the difference between President Obama and his dog Bo?

Bo has papers…

Funny stuff, huh? Now, if that “joke” actually happens to be true…then that makes “the joke” on us. All of a sudden it isn’t so funny…is it? But that’s not our topic for today, but before I turn this loose, let me tell you one another I just heard.

Q: What was the most positive result of the “Cash for Clunkers” program?

A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

Okay, okay, I’ll get off of it, but I felt those two were funny enough to warrant mention today.

You know, I have to believe people from different areas of our great Country feel the term red neck as a major cut down or belittlement when using this phrase. Well, the joke is on them, and we’ll see examples of this a little later in our post today, so hang on to yer britches…and yer birth certificates!!

The thing many don’t understand is that the term red neck when used as a put down, is in reality, to me anyway, a reason to be proud. This is my heritage, being born in the South, and thankful that I was. I mean no disrespect to anyone else because I too know you are proud of your own heritage, no matter what part of our Country you’re from.

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s an attempt at making us look bad, and portrays us as uneducated, insinuating parallels of racism, and even going so far as to describe us as “teabaggers or teabaggin.”

Now, I gotta admit that when I first heard the term “tea baggin,” I literally had NO earthly idea what in the world it meant. Redneck didn’t matter, and I’ve even became used to being described by the liberal media, and liberals as a whole, maybe the term “progressive” is a better term to use than liberal.

Anyway, they refer to themselves as progressives, though this only to throw us dumb rednecks off it’s true meaning. Now being a red neck, I don’t know the difference between a Marxist, Maoist, Communist, whatever, but I personally look at each different form as simply, ANTI-AMERICAN. To all the “educated” out there…am I wrong in my statement?

Then I was educated as to the meaning of this term when applied to someone being a “racist, redneck, teabagger.” Kudos for this goes to our son, Red, who enlightened me as to the REAL meaning behind this accusation.

WHOA…was my first reaction! The left’s accusation of my being a red neck is fine. I guess I really am one, or at least I feel as if I’m one anyway. They’re term of my being a racist is probably as far from the truth as they could possibly be, because…I ain’t! But, this is the progressive agenda, and it is their belief to pound us with whatever rhetoric they feel like throwing out there.

Remember Alinsky…the ends justify the means. Truth or untruths make no matter, it is the end result that they care about…lies, don’t sweat em. America, being a racist Country today is a myth…but better called…a lie!

The teabaggin description IS over the top, and once I found out its true intent, I was…to put it lightly, aggravated! To the progressives out there I promise you this…THERE AIN”T NO TEABAGGIN GOIN ON AROUND MY PLACE!

THEN, to hear such terminology directed at us by, Pelosi, Reid, and others, including OUR PRESIDENT for God’s sake is literally shameful. What in the world have we let our Country become?

Sorry guys, sometimes I get carried away in my thoughts, and just don’t know how to shut up…

REDNECKS… the lighter side

http://www.redjokes.com/jokes.php

How do you know IF you’re a red neck?

Your yard has been proposed as a new landfill site!

Your child’s birth certificate has the term “rug rat” on it!

Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as…”Exhibit A.”

Your sister has a subscription to “Soldier of Fortune Magazine!”

You’ve ever stood in line over an hour to have your picture taken with “a freak of nature!”

On Christmas Eve, you’ve ever left Santa a beer and a Slim Jim!

Bubba…

Ole Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad, so the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer.

Daryl went in, the mortician pulled the sheet back, and Daryl says, “Yep, he’s burnt up pretty bad. Would you roll him over please?” So, the mortician rolls him over, Daryl looks down and declares, “Nope, that ain’t Bubba.” The mortician thought this strange so he called in Gomer…

Gomer walks in, takes a look and says, “Man…he sure is burnt up real bad, ain’t he? Would you please roll him over?” The mortician looks confused, but rolls Bubba’s body over once again. Gomer looks closely, and after just a couple seconds, he to declares, “that ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician is at a loss for words, and asks both Daryl and Gomer how they know for sure that it isn’t Bubba?

“Well,” says Gomer, “that’s easy…Bubba had two buttholes!”

“TWO BUTTHOLES” says the mortician??

“Yup,” Gomer says. “Everyone in town knew it!” “Every time we went to town together, folks would say…”Here comes Bubba, with them two buttholes!”

These next few redneck laughs come from…

http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/redneck_jokes.html

The Healing Touch

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?” The waitress nodded “yes,” so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus over there?” The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, “my treat.”

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there sweet thang. How’s about gettin’ me a cold glass of Coke!” He too looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that God’s boy over there?” The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, “on my bill.”

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

The Redneck jumped up and yelled, “Don’t touch me… I’m drawin’ disability!”

*How do you know when you’re staying in a Southern hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, “I gotta leak in my sink,” and the clerk replies, “Go ahead.”

*Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age down South to 32?

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

*A guy from South of the Mason-Dixon line passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can’t touch it ’til she’s 14.

*A new law was recently passed in the Southern states:
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

*Back in the woods, a redneck’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon a baby boy was brought into the world.

“Whoa there,” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s Yet another one to come.”
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

“No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern… It seems there’s yet another one in there!” cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”

Well, Deb and I hope most of today’s post did in fact bring a smile to your face, and this was our intent. Too many times people take life just too seriously, and this was for those guys!
Rednecks…Pt. 2 will immediately follow this one…

You guys have a great day and God Bless! Deb says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

We’ll start off today with just a couple more jokes in regards to rednecks, and then we’ll throw out for you guys a different spin on the term redneck.

Again, most here in the South aren’t bothered in the least by us being looked upon as rednecks. Actually, we think of it as our “badge of honor!” We laugh at each other, and direct a lot of the laughter back at ourselves…playing the role of a redneck.

In essence…it’s all in fun! As Deb says, “If ya cain’t take the heat…then stay outta the kitchen!”

Speakin of Deb, let’s take a quick look at a few of her alltime favorite tunes…

• If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
• How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
• I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
• I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Almost Like Having You Here
• If I Had Shot You Back When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Prison By Now
• She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

And last, but not least…

• His Teeth Was Stained But His Heart Was Pure

So all of us so called rednecks do enjoy most of the attention being a redneck brings. We even tell redneck jokes about our Mama’s! So, by saying this, you see that no one is safe…not even our own Mama’s!

Again, this term, redneck, allows us to conjure up endless stories and tales, and the pleasure of telling them, plus supplies our family, friends, and neighbors with many, many hours of laughter! All in regards to ourselves…we love it!

Quickly, why don’t we do kinda a government supplied redneck joke. This was supplied to us by a good friend of ours…Wendy.

Confused???

I became confused when I heard the word “Service” used with these agencies:

• Internal Revenue ‘Service’
• U.S. Postal ‘Service’
• Telephone ‘Service’
• Cable TV ‘Service’
• Civil ‘Service’
• State, City, County & Public ‘Service’
• Customer ‘Service’

This is not what I thought ‘Service’ meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘Service’ a few cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

I would hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am.

Pretty cute, huh? Pretty sad too! Anyway…

So once more, we here in the South do appreciate the term redneck, with the humor that surrounds it! BUT, Wendy’s Mama, Mrs. C. sent us an e-mail just the other day that brings the term redneck into a different light.

Not only a different light, but also it gives “us rednecks” a sense of pride…pride in ourselves, pride in our Country, pride in our religion, and basically, just plain pride in our heritage!

Take a look see, and decide for yourselves. I think that no matter what part of the Country you hail from, you just might come to the realization that we might all have a little more redneck in us than you first thought!

Rednecks…

• You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God…’
• You might be a redneck if: You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
• You might be a redneck if: You still say ‘ Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’
• You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
• You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
• You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
• You might be a redneck if: You’ve never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
• You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
• You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
• Some of us are so old we don’t have any elders to respect. LOL!
• You might be a redneck if: You’d give your last dollar to a friend.
• You might be a redneck if: You believe in God & Jesus and believe that others have the right to believe in which ever God they believe in, as long as their God does not tell them to kill anyone who does not believe the same as they do!!!!!
• God Bless the USA !
• Keep the fire burning, redneck friends. You can pass it on to your redneck friends and Associates———It is totally acceptable and might save our Country!!!!

IN GOD WE TRUST!

Now, I be dern if that doesn’t make Deb and I right proud to be a couple ole rednecks…how bout you?

Once again, we wish the very best to you all, and may God Bless you and yours! My lovely wife Deb, asks me to let you in on her favorite saying for you guys one more time…Keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb