I was sittin out on the porch this morning sippin my coffee letting my mind wander around some. Course, anyone who knows me understands my mind wanders around quite a bit.

I got to thinkin bout the shape our Country is in, and how sad it makes me to consider the reasons for our allowin this to take place.

I quit school after the 6th grade, and although my goal was to get through junior high at the very least, Dad insisted that 18 years of formal schoolin was aplenty.

With that bein said, many times I fall back to my bein raised in the South, and our bein labeled as rednecks, as my…ace in the hole when it comes to my views on life.

My beliefs are fanned by simplicity, as I am literally…a simple man.

I wouldn’t change this for anything, yet it seems as if life today as a redneck may be tougher than at any other time in our Country.

I know, I know, that there are many others throughout our Country that have the same exact views as us rednecks, but between you and me, they don’t quite seem the same when spoken by someone say…from New York.

New Jersey comes to mind as well, and actually the entire Northeastern U.S.

Bad as I hate to say it and I mean NO offense, but even though our views may be the very same on many different topics…

You guys sure talk funny! LOL.

Anyway, getting back to my own thoughts, I find it very hard to watch the goins on in our Country, many bein pretty tough to stomach.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d like to think not.

Try this on for starters…

We have an ex-congressman, runnin for mayor of…New York City. The reasonin for his status of EX-congressman is his sexual conduct, or better said, MIS-conduct.

Seems he liked to send sexual images and text messaging to his female fans. Yet, he now is runnin for mayor, amid reports of this type of behavior continuing at least a year after his congressional resignation??

IF he were to mess around and get elected, I’m sure our liberal press would proclaim…“HE’S THE WEINER!”

I mean…Winner!…sorry, my bad.

In a rednecks thinkin, I’d have to say this type of behavior probably wouldn’t garnish ya many votes in say…Yee Haw Junction, Fla.

I think back on President Clinton’s escapades with Monica Lewinsky for one. Stating on National TV, that… “I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN!”

Then durin his daughter Chelsea’s first trip home from college, her mama askin her, “Chelsea, are ya havin sex dear?”

Chelsea’s reply… “Not accordin to my daddy, I AIN’T.”

I dunno bout the liberal mindset, but I find this type of behavior sadly lackin in my comin to grips with this type of politician bein any type of moral or virtuous example for my children or my grandchildren.

Again, maybe it’s just me??

I received an e-mail this past week from my good friend AP.

Mr. AP, whom I call “Speedy,” or “Yankee, “ or even “Carpetbagger,” is a man I look up to, even though he’s from…New York City, of all places.

He’s in his 90’s, very well educated, a veteran of WW II (possibly the American Revolution as well), a staunch conservative, who many of you may remember used to write a post called “Revolution” which I posted on this site many times.

He’s a self-made man, and may I add a very good judge of character, if not, he’d never have hung out with me, huh? Lol.

He claims our biggest detriment in terms of our friendship is his inability to understand me when I speak to him in my Southern dialect.

Redneck talk he calls it.

Says at times he needs…an interpreter.

Where does the difficulty lie in understandin, “What’s up, ya’ll?”

I claim the same foul when he starts that dern, “Use guys,” or “Fa-gid-a-bout-it???”

“Fa-gid-a-bout, what,” I always ask??

Yankee he is through and through, but I swear, I honestly believe he’d LOVE to be a redneck. Questions me on it at times.

“Dub, how would I know if I WAS becoming a redneck.”

Simple, AP I tell him. You’ll begin to notice it at different times. Possibly when ya walk your dog and ya stop and both use the same tree.

Subtle things like that…

Anyway, my good buddy AP sent me an e-mail and it was simple redneck logic, taken from Larry the Cable Guy, and used in helping solve many of the problems we face today as a Country from a rednecks point of view.

Simple solutions in reality…to simple problems. Problems that through our political system today seem to make mountains out of molehills…

Forget about political correctness, and the like, and ponder these thoughts on…

Illegal Immigration, Cows, The Constitution, and The Ten Commandments.

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in Our Country lately:

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Think about this:

1. Cows

2. The Constitution

3. The Ten Commandments

COWS:

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow

THE CONSTITUTION:

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just
give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked
for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS:

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse is this:

judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.

It closes with…

Also, think about this….. if you don’t want to forward this for fear of

offending someone — YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

Simple enough, huh? Honestly, it works for me.

Thanks AP.

So actually, today I do find it harder and harder to just be a simple redneck. Lovin my Country, lovin my guns, tellin folks high…how are ya, and basically leavin others alone to live life like they see fit.

Seems our government grows larger and larger, and ain’t happy unless they’ve got their noses up our rearends tryin to convince us of how we’ve been doin things wrong our whole life.

Even though, to much of the Country, we rednecks pretty much butcher up the English language to hear ya’ll tell it, though at least…we’re still speakin ENGLISH, butchered up or not.

One other thing, why in the world would my neighbor Bubba, owe me anything??

If Bubba works his tail off to have something for him and his family, why would I even consider for a moment…that what he has…is part mine too???

I still ain’t figured that type of mentality out???

Let me leave you with one other thought. Got this from my good friend Bonnie.

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean; she

husband replies, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.” And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

Makes an awful lot of sense to me, but…what do I know? I’m just a redneck.

You guys all have a great day, and God Bless you and yours.

Please try to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub

Today we’re gonna let our hair down a little and look at the humor of, and the humor directed at red necks.

Living in the South, we have had the handle “red neck” hung on us. We, meaning all of us natural born Southern folks, and the label, “natural born” not to be takin lightly. Why you might ask, well, that’s actually pretty simple. We have papers documenting it as so.

Being a redneck myself, I heard one the other day I thought really funny. Here goes…

What is the difference between President Obama and his dog Bo?

Bo has papers…

Funny stuff, huh? Now, if that “joke” actually happens to be true…then that makes “the joke” on us. All of a sudden it isn’t so funny…is it? But that’s not our topic for today, but before I turn this loose, let me tell you one another I just heard.

Q: What was the most positive result of the “Cash for Clunkers” program?

A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

Okay, okay, I’ll get off of it, but I felt those two were funny enough to warrant mention today.

You know, I have to believe people from different areas of our great Country feel the term red neck as a major cut down or belittlement when using this phrase. Well, the joke is on them, and we’ll see examples of this a little later in our post today, so hang on to yer britches…and yer birth certificates!!

The thing many don’t understand is that the term red neck when used as a put down, is in reality, to me anyway, a reason to be proud. This is my heritage, being born in the South, and thankful that I was. I mean no disrespect to anyone else because I too know you are proud of your own heritage, no matter what part of our Country you’re from.

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s an attempt at making us look bad, and portrays us as uneducated, insinuating parallels of racism, and even going so far as to describe us as “teabaggers or teabaggin.”

Now, I gotta admit that when I first heard the term “tea baggin,” I literally had NO earthly idea what in the world it meant. Redneck didn’t matter, and I’ve even became used to being described by the liberal media, and liberals as a whole, maybe the term “progressive” is a better term to use than liberal.

Anyway, they refer to themselves as progressives, though this only to throw us dumb rednecks off it’s true meaning. Now being a red neck, I don’t know the difference between a Marxist, Maoist, Communist, whatever, but I personally look at each different form as simply, ANTI-AMERICAN. To all the “educated” out there…am I wrong in my statement?

Then I was educated as to the meaning of this term when applied to someone being a “racist, redneck, teabagger.” Kudos for this goes to our son, Red, who enlightened me as to the REAL meaning behind this accusation.

WHOA…was my first reaction! The left’s accusation of my being a red neck is fine. I guess I really am one, or at least I feel as if I’m one anyway. They’re term of my being a racist is probably as far from the truth as they could possibly be, because…I ain’t! But, this is the progressive agenda, and it is their belief to pound us with whatever rhetoric they feel like throwing out there.

Remember Alinsky…the ends justify the means. Truth or untruths make no matter, it is the end result that they care about…lies, don’t sweat em. America, being a racist Country today is a myth…but better called…a lie!

The teabaggin description IS over the top, and once I found out its true intent, I was…to put it lightly, aggravated! To the progressives out there I promise you this…THERE AIN”T NO TEABAGGIN GOIN ON AROUND MY PLACE!

THEN, to hear such terminology directed at us by, Pelosi, Reid, and others, including OUR PRESIDENT for God’s sake is literally shameful. What in the world have we let our Country become?

Sorry guys, sometimes I get carried away in my thoughts, and just don’t know how to shut up…

REDNECKS… the lighter side

http://www.redjokes.com/jokes.php

How do you know IF you’re a red neck?

Your yard has been proposed as a new landfill site!

Your child’s birth certificate has the term “rug rat” on it!

Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as…”Exhibit A.”

Your sister has a subscription to “Soldier of Fortune Magazine!”

You’ve ever stood in line over an hour to have your picture taken with “a freak of nature!”

On Christmas Eve, you’ve ever left Santa a beer and a Slim Jim!

Bubba…

Ole Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad, so the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer.

Daryl went in, the mortician pulled the sheet back, and Daryl says, “Yep, he’s burnt up pretty bad. Would you roll him over please?” So, the mortician rolls him over, Daryl looks down and declares, “Nope, that ain’t Bubba.” The mortician thought this strange so he called in Gomer…

Gomer walks in, takes a look and says, “Man…he sure is burnt up real bad, ain’t he? Would you please roll him over?” The mortician looks confused, but rolls Bubba’s body over once again. Gomer looks closely, and after just a couple seconds, he to declares, “that ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician is at a loss for words, and asks both Daryl and Gomer how they know for sure that it isn’t Bubba?

“Well,” says Gomer, “that’s easy…Bubba had two buttholes!”

“TWO BUTTHOLES” says the mortician??

“Yup,” Gomer says. “Everyone in town knew it!” “Every time we went to town together, folks would say…”Here comes Bubba, with them two buttholes!”

These next few redneck laughs come from…

http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/redneck_jokes.html

The Healing Touch

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?” The waitress nodded “yes,” so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus over there?” The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, “my treat.”

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there sweet thang. How’s about gettin’ me a cold glass of Coke!” He too looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that God’s boy over there?” The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, “on my bill.”

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

The Redneck jumped up and yelled, “Don’t touch me… I’m drawin’ disability!”

*How do you know when you’re staying in a Southern hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, “I gotta leak in my sink,” and the clerk replies, “Go ahead.”

*Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age down South to 32?

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

*A guy from South of the Mason-Dixon line passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can’t touch it ’til she’s 14.

*A new law was recently passed in the Southern states:
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

*Back in the woods, a redneck’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon a baby boy was brought into the world.

“Whoa there,” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s Yet another one to come.”
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

“No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern… It seems there’s yet another one in there!” cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”

Well, Deb and I hope most of today’s post did in fact bring a smile to your face, and this was our intent. Too many times people take life just too seriously, and this was for those guys!
Rednecks…Pt. 2 will immediately follow this one…

You guys have a great day and God Bless! Deb says to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

We’ll start off today with just a couple more jokes in regards to rednecks, and then we’ll throw out for you guys a different spin on the term redneck.

Again, most here in the South aren’t bothered in the least by us being looked upon as rednecks. Actually, we think of it as our “badge of honor!” We laugh at each other, and direct a lot of the laughter back at ourselves…playing the role of a redneck.

In essence…it’s all in fun! As Deb says, “If ya cain’t take the heat…then stay outta the kitchen!”

Speakin of Deb, let’s take a quick look at a few of her alltime favorite tunes…

• If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
• How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
• I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
• I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Almost Like Having You Here
• If I Had Shot You Back When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Prison By Now
• She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

And last, but not least…

• His Teeth Was Stained But His Heart Was Pure

So all of us so called rednecks do enjoy most of the attention being a redneck brings. We even tell redneck jokes about our Mama’s! So, by saying this, you see that no one is safe…not even our own Mama’s!

Again, this term, redneck, allows us to conjure up endless stories and tales, and the pleasure of telling them, plus supplies our family, friends, and neighbors with many, many hours of laughter! All in regards to ourselves…we love it!

Quickly, why don’t we do kinda a government supplied redneck joke. This was supplied to us by a good friend of ours…Wendy.

Confused???

I became confused when I heard the word “Service” used with these agencies:

• Internal Revenue ‘Service’
• U.S. Postal ‘Service’
• Telephone ‘Service’
• Cable TV ‘Service’
• Civil ‘Service’
• State, City, County & Public ‘Service’
• Customer ‘Service’

This is not what I thought ‘Service’ meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘Service’ a few cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

I would hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am.

Pretty cute, huh? Pretty sad too! Anyway…

So once more, we here in the South do appreciate the term redneck, with the humor that surrounds it! BUT, Wendy’s Mama, Mrs. C. sent us an e-mail just the other day that brings the term redneck into a different light.

Not only a different light, but also it gives “us rednecks” a sense of pride…pride in ourselves, pride in our Country, pride in our religion, and basically, just plain pride in our heritage!

Take a look see, and decide for yourselves. I think that no matter what part of the Country you hail from, you just might come to the realization that we might all have a little more redneck in us than you first thought!

Rednecks…

• You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God…’
• You might be a redneck if: You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
• You might be a redneck if: You still say ‘ Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’
• You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
• You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
• You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
• You might be a redneck if: You’ve never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
• You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
• You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
• Some of us are so old we don’t have any elders to respect. LOL!
• You might be a redneck if: You’d give your last dollar to a friend.
• You might be a redneck if: You believe in God & Jesus and believe that others have the right to believe in which ever God they believe in, as long as their God does not tell them to kill anyone who does not believe the same as they do!!!!!
• God Bless the USA !
• Keep the fire burning, redneck friends. You can pass it on to your redneck friends and Associates———It is totally acceptable and might save our Country!!!!

IN GOD WE TRUST!

Now, I be dern if that doesn’t make Deb and I right proud to be a couple ole rednecks…how bout you?

Once again, we wish the very best to you all, and may God Bless you and yours! My lovely wife Deb, asks me to let you in on her favorite saying for you guys one more time…Keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb