You guys all know Judi and Brian with the Canada Free Press, so you know as well what a fine pair of people those two are. I understand very well if you were in a pinch they’d be willing to jump in and help in anyway they could.

With that being said, I realize if there were a cause they truly felt strongly in, then they could count on us for help, and this is the reasoning behind this post today…we need your help if at all possible.

If you can’t give, that’s understandable in today’s economic pressure, BUT, if you could give only a little it would be an immense help to a family that Judi and Brian know personally who have come upon some tough times.

Edmund Burke once stated how sad it is that a man would do nothing because…He could only do a little.

This is so appropriate today simply because in this family’s sake, if we could do only a little, what a blessing we could bestow upon them.

So, if you find it in your hearts today to give in a big way, or only a little, you have the ability to make things better for the Eddie Zawadski family.

You can read all about it in this post that Judi and Brian have sent…

Sportscaster ‘King of Fight’ Eddie Zawadzki facing his hospital fight alone

You guys have a great day, count your blessings, and God Bless you and yours!

Doug and “Lucky”

This morning I’d like to discuss a person who is very near, and dear to my heart. She is the other, and the better half, of this site known as Dub and Deb’s.

Yesterday, at 12:15 in the afternoon, marked 5 months since my Deb passed away. Good night guys…I miss her.

I know that each and every one of us must go through passing from this life to death. I also know that when this passing occurs, prior to that…we have a choice to make in our lives.
This simply being, eternal death, or, eternal life.

I’m very proud this morning to state that I know, undoubtedly, that my Deb, through her deep conviction and belief that Jesus Christ did in fact die on the cross to wash away OUR sin, she simply went to sleep 5 months ago, then awoke…in the presence of God.

What a comfort to me personally, this is.

We started this site at the end of Jan, 2011, because of Judi and Brian, and the Canada Free Press. Little did we know what a blessing these two had instilled in our lives. By this, as I sit here this morning, I’m struck by the fact once again, of how God does work mysteriously in our lives.

Judi, Brian…I love you guys! Deb did too, by the way!

Deb and I were having such a good time cutting up with you guys, and as you can see from some of her posts early on…she was quite the character too!

She used to tell me how blessed we were with this site because in some of her writings she’d talk of growing up. This made her so happy, because through these memories, she got caught up, once again, in days gone by.

She loved sharing these memories of hers, and she stated in some of her posts that she sincerely hoped that by reading of her past, that this indeed would evoke fond memories of your own!

Shortly after starting this site though, in April, actually April 1st (April Fools Day, believe that?) Deb was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. We were told…it WAS terminal, and that there’d be no cure.

For those that know, I won’t get into the rest of this story, I’ve told it before…for those that don’t, here’s the link.

Speaking of this story, I attended a good friend’s surprise birthday party last Saturday.

Anyway, I met a guy, John, and we got to talking there at the table. Imagine that, me wanting to talk? Usually I’m the quiet, reserved guy sittin around saying nothing! LOL!

Anyway, somehow we got on the topic of Deb. I mentioned that Deb had chosen alternative treatment, and had decided against chemo after her first treatment. He then asked me to tell him the story.
I did.

Come to find out, his own wife had been through “the cancer thing” herself, a couple years back. It was found VERY early, they had a single mastectomy, and had had, no trouble since. Praise God, huh?
Well, by now the table is filling and John’s wife comes up and sits down.

John now says, “Share your story with my wife please.”

I look at John and go, “You’re killin me here John.”

He then apologizes, but I say okay, here goes…again.

Good night, I started once more, and dad-gummit, I was teary-eyed on a few occasions. The WHOLE table was listening, and I’m actin like a “titty-baby.” LOL!

Let me say this very quickly though…I’ve LEARNED…showing emotion is not a bad thing at all. At first it used to embarrass me to no end, but now…I could care less. Ain’t nothing but a thing!

They told me I could stop, but I said, “No, just give me a minute and I’ll be fine,” and I was. BUT, I also told them that this was the LAST time I’d be telling it today!

Deb’s story was, and still is such a story of inspiration, and by doing what SHE knew, in her heart, that this was indeed the way God had instructed her in this regard. To be honest…I HAVE to tell it from time to time.

I feel…it NEEDS to be told!

When Deb passed, the first couple three weeks, were very hard. I could NOT focus on anything. I’d start a project to stay busy…only to lose interest in it altogether. That’d be the end of that.
Then I came to the realization that I MUST start over…I had to focus once again on living life.

My entire character is built upon the “pedal to the metal” mentality. I’ve always believed that once I “stepped into the ring of life,” I’d take a few shots, BUT, this mentality also instilled into me that although I may indeed take a few shots, before I left the ring, I’d have chunked a few more than I took!

So, away I went. I’d put this loss behind me, and everything would be just fine. Deb had told me on numerous occasions… “LIVE LIFE! GO ON, with YOUR life, and I’ll always be there, in your heart, to help fill the void if anything ever happens to me!”

She has! She does every day!

I still have my days, plus, looking back now, I did some awfully stupid things after her passing, thinking the whole time that I was acting quite sanely, but at times I was acting quite the opposite, actually.
Only now am I getting things really back into perspective.

Grief, I’m finding out, is a come and go thing. One minute you’re feeling as if you’ve got “the bull by the horns” again, only to figure out shortly thereafter, that you ain’t even grabbing the bull at the end WITH THE HORNS!

You go through some pretty confusing times.

Anyway, I guess this post today is kinda like a thank you to Deb. She is in fact gone, but she still lives on, in my heart!

It also is a thank you to all the people out there who contacted us throughout our, actually HER ordeal, and wished us the very best. You guys sent such heartwarming condolences, and prayers. I’ll never forget this!

5 months?

This is so odd.

If you put 5 months into your mind, and consider how quickly the weeks pass in our normal, daily routines, it passes so very quickly. As an example, I can’t believe today is Thursday? Seems like Monday… was yesterday.

Do you guys go through this? I guess this comes with age, or at least that’s what I’ve always been told.

Yet this past 5 months in Deb’s regard seem…so, so long ago! It seems like it was back in my distant past. Is that crazy, or what?

I really can’t comprehend it in any other way. I try, but it just seems so long ago? I don’t know?

Strange…

Deb, as most everyone knows by now, had a saying that has always been very dear to her. It simply states, “Keep a smile on your face, AND one in your heart.”

I have to be honest with you all this morning…SHE lived this daily.

No matter what trials or tribulations lay ahead of her, or she was experiencing already, SHE ALWAYS had that smile of hers on her face, and if you knew her, you were very much aware that it was in her heart as well.

It showed constantly! Debbie was truly…a beacon of love.

I’ve been thinking about the holidays. Thanksgiving is just next week. Good night, how will I deal with it when the time comes?

But you know what…I’’ll be fine. I’ve come to realize the Good Lord has blessed me in so many ways. Bringing Debbie into my life is probably the greatest. We had 26 years of Thanksgiving daily! How great is that?

So this is exactly what I’ll be giving thanks for this Thanksgiving. Those 26 years we shared with each other! Our God continually blesses me!

We were so blessed during our lives together, and those last 9 days together were such a blessing as well. Deb was at home with me, and I was able to take total care of her. God was looking after us.

The love we had shared during our lives together was allowed to be a part of our closure as well. I am a very blessed man indeed!

How blessed? Listen to this…

1 Thessalonians 54:15-17

This comes from a letter written by Paul to the Thessalonians…

We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died.

Then we will be with the Lord forever.

My journey into Christianity again, is only beginning. But I tell you this..I fully intend on being caught up in the clouds and being with our Lord and Savior, hoping as well that I’ll be with Deb once again…eternally.

Then, in verse 18, we are told…

So encourage each other with these words.

This, as Christians, is exactly what God wants us to do. Encourage others. We can make a difference in a persons life, saved, or not, simply through…encouragement.

How hard is that?

In closing today I’d like to share with you guys a video I did, I think about 16 days after Deb’s passing. I don’t think I ever put this up on this site, but only on YouTube. If I did, I apologize.

I know that I had told of Deb’s passing in the post I linked to above, but just like you guys, we have so many friends on YouTube that consoled and prayed for us during that time, I knew I had to let them know about Deb too.

To all you guys out there, this is not about me, but about the love Deb and I shared. It was incredible guys, it really was.

If I could ever bless you guys with anything, it’d be simply for you all, when your time comes, to be able to share with your own spouse, the blessing that Deb and I received. This, just being able to be at home with each other, to comfort and console each other, and to take care of your loved one just as Deb and I were blessed to do.

She would have done the very same for me.

Verse 18 spoke of encouragement, right? Well, hopefully this little story will do exactly that.

God Bless you all, and remember… “Keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!”

Dub and Deb

The young men I’m speakin of are Devin who’s 15 and is our oldest son, Josh’s oldest son. The other half of this tandem is Willie, 13, whose real name is Clay, and is our oldest daughter Michelle’s youngest son.

They came down last Wed. and stayed until Sunday afternoon when Willie went home. We miss him…

Until we go get a Mounds ice cream bar outta the freezer…then we’re kinda glad he’s gone! LOL! Not really Willie…hee-hee-hee.

Seriously though, these two have been so much help to me. They really got me back in the game as far as getting my feet set firmly back under me again. Nothing really major, just things.

Giving our house a GOOD cleaning was one of my priorities, and boy did we! While I knew we’d be cleaning, I felt I really needed to move some things around, kinda just give me a “different look” if you know what I mean.

So much reminds me of Deb, and I don’t want to get rid of anything, but the boys and I redid our bedroom and changed some dresser drawer configuration for me.

I put my drawers in a nightstand next to my bed…bet she had a “hissy-fit!” I figured shoot, ya roll outta bed, grab a pair of clean drawers right there at ya, waltz into the bathroom, and you’re off to a flyin start.

With some of the added “chores” I’m still tryin to organize some sort of half a you-know-what schedule. It didn’t seem to be workin out though. Seems the more I did, the more I had to do??

By Devin and Willie coming, pitchin in, and grabbing the bull by the horns with me, we whipped it right out.

We moved our beds around, went through the library (yea, I can read…some), and pretty much moved our books around quite a bit. One of the last times Deb and I went out, I bought several books, got home and…no room. At least not where they needed to be anyway.

So…that’s now solved.

We then turned into the downstairs and put the ache on it as well. We mopped floors, dusted furniture and blinds, got up in the bathtubs and showers and cleaned those too…with the tile around them to boot.

For the finishing touch…we washed windows inside and out and cleaned the sills, then went outside and bleached, scrubbed, and washed down the porch. Everything is lookin good!

You know we’d started some seedlings, and Devin and I have all but just a few tomatoes potted in 4 inch pots. Quick as they get a little size I’ll utilize some in the greenhouse and the grow area then sell what’s left.

We saved quite a few pepper seeds and some of those I’ll use to restart another batch. As things smooth out even more I’ll start savin some other seeds as well.

Today we’ll get rid of almost everything that was in the greenhouse and by tomorrow we’ll be settin out some beets, and radishes. I use them in my daily juice, but for now I’m out. Again, beets are awful hard to find down here in a store.

Our eggplants are doin well, and we’ll pot them in the next day or two. Same as the tomatoes, what we don’t use we’ll just sell. I’m looking forward to getting this off the ground also.

It’ll help to occupy my time number one, I love growing them number two, and in reality it’ll give me some sort of income here off the place. It will also allow people who want the plants or veggies to come through the gate…when it’s open.

That’ll allow me to “socialize” some during the course of the day without ever leavin the place. You come in and buy something, shoot, we’ll socialize up a storm…ya don’t want to “purchase,” well I’m probably pretty busy. LOL!

I’ve got a couple more greenhouses, so as or if, this produce thing expands, I’ll put them up too. I just want to start small and as the traffic picks up then we’ll grow as needed. Gotta leave time to wash clothes, vacuum the house, dust the furniture, cook supper, you know…let my feminine side come out. LOL!

I was thinkin just the other day, shoot, if I’d of handled all the housework and let ole Deb make the livin for us, our “relations” outlook might have been better. Why? Well, unlike Deb, even as many times as I asked her, I WOULD HAVE opened the door with just my apron on!! LOL!

After contemplating THAT picture in my mind, it wasn’t long before I figured out that wouldn’t have been a very pretty sight! LOL!

But, getting back to the greenhouse, things are starting to look up once more. Next week we’ll go ahead and till the grow areas and start setting it out again.

Then when our daughter Michelle and the rest of her bunch, along with Josh and his family picked Willie up they had me a little surprise…a puppy.

First off, Cheyenne is “our little girl,” and she’s helped me out SO much since Deb’s been gone. This means IF Cheyenne doesn’t like a new boarder in the home, then…the new boarder has gotta go. No question on that, but, so far so good. We’ll continue to evaluate that situation.

They had asked me, in a moment of weakness if I wanted one. They told me the breed and I said, “Yeah, I’ve always wanted one.” They then told me the female pups were 400 bucks. I said that actually I didn’t like the breed THAT much for sure, and my sayin I wanted one was only a slip of the tongue.

But, they pitched in together and bought her for me. Today’s Tuesday and as of yet…no name. Don’t want to name her and Cheyenne says she’s outta here! So, I call her…you don’t want to know! LOL!

I believe though that it’s lookin as if she just might make the cut. Cheyenne seems pretty comfortable with her and really has kinda “mama’d up to her.” She’s letting her lay up beside me on the couch some, but most times with her beside us as well.

The pup’s breed…a Catahoula Leopard Cur. Great dogs.

Very intelligent, very owner oriented, good cow or hog dogs, just really good dogs to have around the place. IF she makes the cut with “Shiny Girl,” she should be a good addition to “the family.”

She seems to be house breaking pretty easily so that’s a BIG plus in her favor, although yesterday while I was workin on the bow flex some, she uses the bathroom on my mat the bow flex sits on. BOTH kinds of usin the bathroom, side by side!

That didn’t go over well and she got a pretty good swat across the backside for that little episode. Michelle told me over the phone, “DAD, you shouldn’t have done that! The kennels they were raised in were concrete, BUT, they had rubber mats where they used the bathroom.”

My response?

“So, you’re point? I just imagine the kennels “they were raise in” DIDN’T have a dern bow flex on the mats, right?”

But, as you guys can see, I have had a pretty dern good week, and I’m beginning to round the corner of life some.

Boy, I still sure miss my Deb, but the pain is going away, or should I say easing, cause I don’t think that it’ll ever go away. Honestly I’m not sure if I want it to ever go away completely anyway. At least I’m hittin on all cylinders again now though. Life is good!

Once more I’d like to say thanks to Devin and Willie both. I don’t think those two may ever realize the help they were to me. By getting me caught up, they’ve allowed me to stop and take a deep breath. By doing so I see the direction I need to be moving in.

I knew all along where I was headed, but just couldn’t seem to organize myself to get the job done. I was working, and workin my tail off, but again, it was like I was spinnin my wheels. That’s now behind me.

So to all out there, I’ll say again, God sure knew what he was doing when he blessed us with grandchildren. I know they’ve sure made Deb smile down on us this past couple weeks too. She has every right to be proud of them…they sure stepped up!

Well, gotta go for now. You guys have a great day, and God Bless. Always keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb