It’s Tough Bein a Redneck Anymore

Mornin guys. I hope this finds all well, in both spirits and health.

I was sittin out on the porch this morning sippin my coffee letting my mind wander around some. Course, anyone who knows me understands my mind wanders around quite a bit.

I got to thinkin bout the shape our Country is in, and how sad it makes me to consider the reasons for our allowin this to take place.

I quit school after the 6th grade, and although my goal was to get through junior high at the very least, Dad insisted that 18 years of formal schoolin was aplenty.

With that bein said, many times I fall back to my bein raised in the South, and our bein labeled as rednecks, as my…ace in the hole when it comes to my views on life.

My beliefs are fanned by simplicity, as I am literally…a simple man.

I wouldn’t change this for anything, yet it seems as if life today as a redneck may be tougher than at any other time in our Country.

I know, I know, that there are many others throughout our Country that have the same exact views as us rednecks, but between you and me, they don’t quite seem the same when spoken by someone say…from New York.

New Jersey comes to mind as well, and actually the entire Northeastern U.S.

Bad as I hate to say it and I mean NO offense, but even though our views may be the very same on many different topics…

You guys sure talk funny! LOL.

Anyway, getting back to my own thoughts, I find it very hard to watch the goins on in our Country, many bein pretty tough to stomach.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d like to think not.

Try this on for starters…

We have an ex-congressman, runnin for mayor of…New York City. The reasonin for his status of EX-congressman is his sexual conduct, or better said, MIS-conduct.

Seems he liked to send sexual images and text messaging to his female fans. Yet, he now is runnin for mayor, amid reports of this type of behavior continuing at least a year after his congressional resignation??

IF he were to mess around and get elected, I’m sure our liberal press would proclaim…“HE’S THE WEINER!”

I mean…Winner!…sorry, my bad.

In a rednecks thinkin, I’d have to say this type of behavior probably wouldn’t garnish ya many votes in say…Yee Haw Junction, Fla.

I think back on President Clinton’s escapades with Monica Lewinsky for one. Stating on National TV, that… “I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN!”

Then durin his daughter Chelsea’s first trip home from college, her mama askin her, “Chelsea, are ya havin sex dear?”

Chelsea’s reply… “Not accordin to my daddy, I AIN’T.”

I dunno bout the liberal mindset, but I find this type of behavior sadly lackin in my comin to grips with this type of politician bein any type of moral or virtuous example for my children or my grandchildren.

Again, maybe it’s just me??

I received an e-mail this past week from my good friend AP.

Mr. AP, whom I call “Speedy,” or “Yankee, “ or even “Carpetbagger,” is a man I look up to, even though he’s from…New York City, of all places.

He’s in his 90’s, very well educated, a veteran of WW II (possibly the American Revolution as well), a staunch conservative, who many of you may remember used to write a post called “Revolution” which I posted on this site many times.

He’s a self-made man, and may I add a very good judge of character, if not, he’d never have hung out with me, huh? Lol.

He claims our biggest detriment in terms of our friendship is his inability to understand me when I speak to him in my Southern dialect.

Redneck talk he calls it.

Says at times he needs…an interpreter.

Where does the difficulty lie in understandin, “What’s up, ya’ll?”

I claim the same foul when he starts that dern, “Use guys,” or “Fa-gid-a-bout-it???”

“Fa-gid-a-bout, what,” I always ask??

Yankee he is through and through, but I swear, I honestly believe he’d LOVE to be a redneck. Questions me on it at times.

“Dub, how would I know if I WAS becoming a redneck.”

Simple, AP I tell him. You’ll begin to notice it at different times. Possibly when ya walk your dog and ya stop and both use the same tree.

Subtle things like that…

Anyway, my good buddy AP sent me an e-mail and it was simple redneck logic, taken from Larry the Cable Guy, and used in helping solve many of the problems we face today as a Country from a rednecks point of view.

Simple solutions in reality…to simple problems. Problems that through our political system today seem to make mountains out of molehills…

Forget about political correctness, and the like, and ponder these thoughts on…

Illegal Immigration, Cows, The Constitution, and The Ten Commandments.

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in Our Country lately:

Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in

Florida … Not me — I concentrate on solutions for the problems — it’s a

win-win situation. Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. Send the

dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees. Put the Florida

alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Think about this:

1. Cows

2. The Constitution

3. The Ten Commandments


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow

epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost

three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of

Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are

unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.

Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just
give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked
for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.


The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse is this:

You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ‘Thou Shalt Not

Commit Adultery’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers,

judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.

It closes with…

Also, think about this….. if you don’t want to forward this for fear of

offending someone — YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

Simple enough, huh? Honestly, it works for me.

Thanks AP.

So actually, today I do find it harder and harder to just be a simple redneck. Lovin my Country, lovin my guns, tellin folks high…how are ya, and basically leavin others alone to live life like they see fit.

Seems our government grows larger and larger, and ain’t happy unless they’ve got their noses up our rearends tryin to convince us of how we’ve been doin things wrong our whole life.

Even though, to much of the Country, we rednecks pretty much butcher up the English language to hear ya’ll tell it, though at least…we’re still speakin ENGLISH, butchered up or not.

One other thing, why in the world would my neighbor Bubba, owe me anything??

If Bubba works his tail off to have something for him and his family, why would I even consider for a moment…that what he has…is part mine too???

I still ain’t figured that type of mentality out???

Let me leave you with one other thought. Got this from my good friend Bonnie.

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean; she

doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same

comments. A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: “Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this? ” The

husband replies, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.” And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

Makes an awful lot of sense to me, but…what do I know? I’m just a redneck.

You guys all have a great day, and God Bless you and yours.

Please try to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!


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