Tropical Storm…Who Else??

Good morning to you guys, how are ya? I sure hope everyone is well and looking forward to a very productive and pleasurable work week!

As you guys know, we’ve been getting rain, rain, and more rain coming off the storm in the northwest gulf.

I dumped 5 inches out of the rain gauge last night, so I really don’t know how much we’d had. Then this morning I dumped another inch and a half. I haven’t checked it this afternoon but I’d be shocked if we haven’t had another inch and a half as well.

This could keep up for another few days, but hopefully it’ll start moving out soon. We’ve not had any strong winds here, possibly gusts of up to 25 mph, but nothing bad at all. Like many others along the eastern seaboard or the gulf coast areas, once one of these storms starts heading in our general direction…we keep our eyes peeled!

The name of this particular storm?

Debby. Yep, that’s what they’ve gone and named the dern thing! The weather center spelled it wrong but, Debby is still Debbie no matter how ya cut it!

You believe that? I was like…dern woman, I’d been begging for rain all spring and son-of-a-gun, you’re seeing I get it all at one time! We’re drownin here how bout it!!

No, actually even with the rain we’ve had, as fast as we’ve gotten it, you look out it’s standing, you look again in 30 minutes or so…and its gone! We have been terribly dry this year but seem to be makin up ground quick.

Our pond is up at least a foot or better, and this will continue to rise even after the rain stops. We dug it fairly close a dry creek-bed, it’s a creek when its wet, and dry when it ain’t, so the pond will leech water from the creek until it dries back out again.

This could be a while now though…we’re into our rainy season now, and water shouldn’t be a worry to us anymore this year. Unless we have a season with several storms, then it’ll be another type of problem…too much water!

Sounds as if I’m a guy that’s pretty hard to please, huh?

I’ve been around enough years now that I understand that many times in life its feast…or famine. Lookin at my picture still though, you’d have to come to the conclusion that I’d been experiencing in my life way to much of feastin, and maybe not quite enough of famine! LOL!

Although I have to tell you that in all reality that’s not the case, but once Deb and I had gotten to the point we COULD feast ever once in a while, I swear I just didn’t know when to quit.

We’d get past the feastin and start back on the faminin (is this a word fam-a-nin) again, and I’d still be feastin away on what I’d put up while we WAS feasting! Thank you Food-Saver!

I believe I was the only one in the Country that when the economy took such a downturn…I was PUTTIN ON weight! LOL!

Then ole Deb, bless her heart, showed me a new road to travel. A road of good healthy eating, choosing the right foods to nourish our bodies with, and, oh my God…exercise??? I thought she’d lost her cotton pickin mind!

You can’t imagine the things that were coming into my mind! I began having nightmares!

Me and my big mouth had told her, “Honey, whatever you do…I’ll do too!” You see, that’s been my biggest problem all through my life. Opening my big mouth instead of listening, grasping, and thoroughly understanding what was just said.

Then, knowing Deb like I did, I KNEW once she started all this healthy this, and healthy that, she’d never go back to the way it was…the GOOD life.

Fried pork chops, mashed taters and gravy, cat-head biscuits, corn bread, fried okra, peach cobbler, fried chicken, cube steaks smothered in…grease, fried green tomatoes, well, ya’ll get the picture. She dropped all this just like she’d been snake struck. I was in denial for weeks.

All of this in itself could lead to many other things that I had always found…belittling, even un-masculine!!

Things like putting conditioner in my hair, bathing regularly, trimming my toenails, takin off my cap and partin my hair (what’s up with that), using a napkin, washin the dog (believe that), even liftin the lid on the toilet, these things all became…routine. I was a wreck!

Many times after a hard day in the garden, I’d come in and sit down at the table, oh yeah, she got me to washin my hands prior to that too, and here she’d come, sash-shaying from the kitchen.

She’d have a big plate of…bean sprouts, cottage cheese (YUK!), ice water and one dern THIN tomato slice laid up on a big ole thick bed of lettuce. Makes my mouth water just thinkin about it right now!
I’d ask, “No dressing honey,” and she’d hand me a slice of lemon. She’d say, “Just squeeze some of this over it Dub, it’ll help it, AND, it’ll be SO healthy for you!” “God Bless you honey,” I’d say…

I’ve waken up before in a cold sweat, raisin straight up in the bed dreamin about tryin to get into the front door of Wal-Mart, yet I can’t. I’d lost so much weight the door just wouldn’t open??

I’d climb up on the handrail beside the door and jumped off…right onto the mat, but still the door wouldn’t open…I’d lost TOO much weight. In my dream I’d keep climbin back up on that handrail and I’d jump again and again, hopin that just one time, the dern door would open where I could get inside.

I mean after all, all I wanted was one of them Nathan hotdogs with ALL the trimmings, just so maybe the next time I come I’d be able just to walk through the door like everyone else!

THEN the kids from down the road got into the act, although I’m not so sure Deb didn’t have a hand in this deal. She had to or they couldn’t have gotten in through the gate…I’d locked it.

BUT, here those two young’uns would come, everyday bout 6 in the evenin, peddalin them bikes around the circle in front of our house, hollerin, “Mr. Dub…Mr. Dub…look what we got!”

I’d raise up in the swing, look out in the drive and they’d go whizzing by, each with a liver cheese sandwich (my favorite) strapped to their backs! Off the porch I’d go, chasin them little suckers right out the gate (which was mysteriously open again…go figure) and down the hard road they’d go.

I’d walk back to the house and by now Deb would be sittin in the swing. “Dub,” she’d holler, “that was a nice little run you just took…very good! I’m proud of you!”

So as you guys can see, healthy eatin, good nutritious food, and livin right may indeed be good for you, but there sure is a whole lot of work and sacrifice to be put into it.

I’m thinking this weekend of possibly making some of that good ole Georgia link sausage, made into a casserole with about half a dozen onions, a #1 washtub full of taters, plenty of cheese, whole milk, plenty of salt and pepper, a pitcher full of sweet iced tea, and maybe a slice of hot apple pie with a big scoop or two of vanilla ice cream to wash it all down good.

Naw…I’m tryin to watch my figure.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little bit of nonsense cause I sure did. I had a chuckle or two putting this down this evenin, and boy it felt good to laugh. I can honestly say that while doing this I indeed had a smile on my face and one in my heart…I hope you did as well!

I hate to run but I gotta get a shower, wash and condition my hair, put a nice part in it after I dry it off some, trim my toenails, brush my teeth…

God Bless!


This entry was posted in Ridin out the Recession and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Tropical Storm…Who Else??

  1. Gary says:

    I’m gonna have to come visit and cook you some REAL food…. Nah. Just kiddin’.
    Well, about cookin’ the real food anyway…
    Love ya buddy…
    P.S. If I come visit do I have to take showers, brush my teeth and use CONDITIONER???

  2. That was funny. I did indeed have a smile on my face. It sounds like you have been ‘domesticated’. Does this mean I can’t call you red neck hillbilly anymore?
    By the way, no need to avoid salt. Just make sure it is sea salt, not table salt.
    Check out this film about gardening. It may give you some ideas.

  3. cmblake6 says:

    We sure could use some of that here in NM.

  4. Guy Laraway Jr says:

    Always enjoy your columns. And this had my grinin and gigglin.
    Thank You

  5. Sandra says:

    My goodness, here I am out looking for the brightest star in the sky.
    The one with a smile on it’s face and one in its heart and BOOM! our
    Deb shows up as a Tropical Storm and dumps rain on Dub. Just Great!
    Glad to see you posting Dub and loved the column. Just reading about your dream made me hungry. Still love you guys from far, far away and will never forget holding that little hand.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>