Kendra Bailey Morris and “White Trash Gatherings”

Good morning guys! We hope all are well, and can make it through just one more day…as tomorrow’s SATURDAY! Yeah man!

For all you younger guys that’s a pretty big deal. Relaxin, sittin on the couch, watchin a little sports, hollerin for “Mama” to bring ya a refill of some good cold iced tea, or just a good ole cold one period! You know, recreational time!

For all us “older gents,” Saturday ain’t a whole lot different than any other day of the work week. Why you younger guys ask? Well, all I gotta say is you better enjoy that recreational time now, cause once you get my age things change pretty drastically!

The reason…. “honey do’s!”

Ain’t no need it tryin to explain it to ya now, as it’d probably just go right over your heads, plus, there ain’t no need it bustin your bubble just yet…but your times comin!

Well, Kendra Bailey Morris…hmmm…

First off to be honest with you this morning, I’m not sure if she’s a married woman or not, and with that the case, out of respect I’m gonna call her “Miss Kendra.” If you happen to be married “Miss Kendra,” it’ll only take one e-mail to set me straight, and from here on out you’ll be…“Mrs. Kendra.” LOL!

That is unless you’re like my Deb, whom I refer to as “Mr. Deb” most all times, especially when I’ve aggravated her…cause she can whip me, now that I’ve gotten old and feeble! Shoot, she could probably whip me when I was younger, BUT, for a fact, today…she wears the britches in this family. Sad but true! LOL!

Anyway, Miss Morris wrote the cookbook, “White Trash Gatherings.” As you know, Deb and I post recipes from this book ever once in a while, although the past couple recipe posts we’ve done, have indeed, come from her book.

Yesterday I was checking out our spam, no, not the meat, and to tell you the truth, spam has gone crazy here lately. Daily anymore, we’ll have from 25 to 50 spam messages…drives me up the dern wall! So, I’ve gotten to the point I just hit, “empty spam,” and delete them all at once!

For some reason or other, I scanned down through them, and there was a message from… Kendra Bailey Morris. I was like, “Yeah right!”

I almost sent her back an e-mail to verify it, asking what was the name of her 3rd cuzin removed on her Mama’s side of her great-greatgranddaddy’s, first wife’s, aunt? If the answer came back “Raphael,” I would have known right of the bat…she was an imposter! I’d of been lookin more along the lines of say…Eugene, Jenkin, or even, Ovie Cecil.

But, after pullin up the link to her sight… and browsin around some, I realized she WAS, the “Real McCoy!” DERN!

At first I thought her e-mail might have read… “Dub, you keep postin up my dern recipes, I’m gonna string ya up by your ears!” But, that wasn’t the case at all! What a genuine nice lady she seems to be, but at my age, I gotta say that I don’t let a woman make too much of a good, “first impression!”

Ole Deb did that years ago, and look what that got me!

Also, if Miss Kendra would have stated she’d string me up by my ears, I’d of had to told her that, really, that wasn’t possible. My ears couldn’t have supported that much weight!

One of the posts on her site also stated that she was wantin to take off ten pounds. Shoot Miss Kendra, don’t sweat the little things…I gotta toe that weighs 10 pounds! LOL!

Also, not meaning no offence, but your site kinda threw me just a little bit. Well actually it kinda “body-slammed” me at one point.

I was readin up on those dern “Senator’s Brown Beans and Fatback,” “K.G.’s Country Grit Bread,” “Sweet and Savory BLT Deviled Eggs,” and the “Ode to the Perfect Burger,” just about “foamin at the mouth,” literally, and then run right up against a dad-gum block wall!

“Yellowtail Sashimi?” Once again, no offence, but around here, we consider that…bait.

Next up was, “Uni Star” consisting of broiled eel wrapped around a mixture of spicy avocado and shrimp topped with a few sprinkles of panko crumbs.” Boiled eel, REALLY??

Good night a livin Miss Kendra, you just be careful eatin all that. I know you must be forcing it down, and with that bein said, just be careful only wantin to knock off 10 pounds, or so. On that type of diet you might knock off 20-25 pounds for you know it! LOL!

I don’t know of anybody in our family would eat something like that, UNLESS they were being persuaded somewhat. Like maybe…a gun to their head! Lol!

Seriously though, in regards to the raw fish and boiled eel, I’m just jerkin your chain!…kinda! In all honesty, we’ve never tried those types of food, and probably, if they were prepared properly (and I didn’t know what I was eatin till after I’d eaten it), we could come to enjoy such.

Joking around aside, I have to say in all sincerity, Deb and I both have really enjoyed “White Trash Gatherings!”

Your cookbook is very entertaining to read, it does bring back good memories of back when we were being raised, and you get all those good, “down home” recipes to boot! We feel you did a great job with it!

We picked our copy up at “Books-A-Million,” and are glad we did. We’ve gotten to the point we actually love reading through cookbooks anymore. Many, just like yours, are enjoyable reads. Something to kick back with out in the porch swing, or set back in the recliner with when there ain’t a whole lot on the tube!

One thing that impressed me was the fact that when we went to pay for your book at the checkout counter, they allowed us to purchase your book with Confederate money. God bless ya! Anymore, rare is the occasion to buy anything using Confederate script! Dern carpetbaggers!

Those boogers up in DC keep printin and spendin money like they are, the ole US dollar won’t be worth what a Conferate dollar’ll bring ya!

In closing today, we’d like to say thank you once more, Miss Kendra, for taking the time and droppin us a line. It, like your cookbook, was appreciated! If you’d ever like to post up one of your stories, or share other recipes with us…our door is always open.

We too believe in the fact that, as you state in your book, the “original White Trasher,” Ernie Mickler said it best… “Cooking food, laughing, and storytelling—that’s what we’re made of and that’s what we enjoy most!” Well said indeed!

Again, if you guys would like to check out Miss Kendra’s site for yourselves, and we recommend that you do, it’s…

(If I don’t get the hot link to come up, please take the time to type it in and go to it that way. You all know ole Dub’s a technological dinosaur! You can also go to our comment page and hot link from Miss Kendra’s comment using her hotlink. It’s pretty evident that not only is she a lot purtier than I , but much smarter too!)

Before we do close out, let’s take a moment to put a smile on our faces…

Our good friend Diane, has stepped up once more to share a little story, actually two, with us today. As always, thank you Diane…you’re the best!

The Redneck Diet

A Redneck man was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day …… And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’

When the man returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 40lbs!

‘Why, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’

The man nodded … ‘I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on that 3rd day.

‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.

“No,” replied the redneck, “from all that skipping!”

Little Johnny

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.

Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30″ she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good”, said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next. “I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

“Very good, Debbie”, said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467″, he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

Toothbrushes”, said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town”, said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip &Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.” They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog poop!” Then I would say, “It IS dog poop…wanna buy a toothbrush?”

God Bless you guys, and have a great day, and an even better weekend! Deb says once more for you to keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!

Dub and Deb

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