If there is a chapter of the American Cancer Society near you, please attend their meetings. Dub, Deb might benefit from being with those who are going through the same thing she is. This was the case for my mother. That is not to say you are not doing everything you can, by any means, but I do know my very loving husband didn’t understand fully how I felt and I sometimes felt alone and frustrated.

My mother had had breast cancer when she was 45 and had a radical mastectomy. All was well for many years until she contracted lung cancer, which was treated successfully with chemo and radiation. I remember celebrating Mother’s Day thinking my mom was going to be OK. Unfortunately, the cancer was a very aggressive type and it had spread to her liver. Her oncologist prescribed chemo again but did not tell us my mother’s condition was terminal and that the chemo was an experimental new formulation. I don’t know if he told her.

What this drug did to my mother, both physically and to her usually calm persona, made the last few months of her life hell for her and her family. As many lovely memories I have of my mother, the memories of the last few months seem to always intrude. She never complained but I think the quality of the end of her life would have been much better if not for that experimental drug.

You are in my prayers. Feel free to contact me if you think I can be of any help.

There is just so much confusion about cancer! Of course, with all the different types of cancer, all of which behave differently, it’s even more confusing. What works for one type, won’t for another. What works for one person many not work for another with the same type. What to do?

I completely understand your comments of quality of life. I’ve never had cancer, though I’ve had a recent “cancer scare” (I get the impression I was the only one not scared by it). I have family members who have fought different types of cancer. A year ago I lost a cousin who’s lukemia had been in remission. He decided against doing chemo again when it came back. He just couldn’t go through that a second time.

It’s such a hard decision to make! Personally, when the possibility that I had cancer came up, I already knew I didn’t want to do chemo. Of course, who knows what would have happened if George turned out not to be a giant cyst. Perhaps I would have been convinced otherwise.

I don’t see refusing chemo as giving up or quitting. There is a tendancy for the medical community in both Canada and the US to view chemo as the *only* way to treat cancer. This is not true in other countries, which tend to be more accepting of a broader range of treatments. It sounds like Deb prefers to take an active role in her own treatment, and the chemo is forcing her to take a passive role. At what point is the cure worse than the disease? How does one make an informed decision, when there is so much contradictory advice out there?

There’s nothing I can really say to help, other than to let you all know I’m still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and wish you both the best. Thank you for keeping us informed in these difficult times.

cancerdefeated.com markets information on both of the methods I’ve outlined and much, much more.

Last, and most important, if you haven’t already, turn it over to Jesus Christ, for with his stripes are we healed.

Isaiah 53:4* Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5* But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Please feel free to contact me if you have difficulty finding the information I’ve suggested. In that case, I’ll get more drastic and step through my archives to provide the explicit information.

In Christ Jesus,

Bob Anderson