Comments on: Turtle and His List!

By: Ken

Ken — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 19:05:23 +0000

I think about you and Deb often my friend! Marilyn and Sandra are spot on!
I have a little more time from my loss than you do and I wish I could say that it gets easier, but it never really does. Those firsts are a real booger! I still find myself sobbing like a baby when a memory comes up or when I get the strength and courage up to clean out a drawer or closet. Hang in there buddy! It’s OK to grieve. We all do it differently and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Deb is right. God has a plan and His plan is much better than ours. Although we may not see it at the time, in the end we will all look back and laugh on how stubborn we were.
If you haven’t done so, think about getting into a griefshare group. griefshare.org . It was a huge help in my process and I met some really great people who understood what I was feeling because they were going through it too.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 13:19:11 +0000

@Marilyn
Totally agree with you. Very worst thing about losing your spouse of many years
is cleaning out their belongings. That’s the ups and downs and the brick walls you
hit and go through the roller coaster rides. From the baby pictures school pictures
school annuals on to college and career articles. You walk through someones personal life and it is very painful. My heart goes out all who have gone through this.
We all at our age have experienced some of this. Dub has a public forum for support.
Good for him. We will miss Deb but her readers will never forget. Somehow new normal has eluded me. Dealing with whatever comes my way and checking it off the list. Your and Deb’s friend from far, far away.

By: Gary

Gary — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 17:42:18 +0000

You Dadgummed old SOB!
I’m sittin’ here with tears streaming down my face although we just talked about this yesterday…
Dang! Just Dang!
I luv you you old so and so…
Gary

By: Sandra

Sandra — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:01:05 +0000

AWOL AWOL! Goodnight Dub. Been looking for your articles on CFP.
Had to look up “Ridin” on the web. See you are getting Funky again. 6 month
milestone for me was on my B’day. Talk ’bout depressed. Come on big guy, this too will pass. Sure is slow in coming though ain’t it. Go ahead and make a list. I did
yesterday. My list said “Lawyers office, courthouse (home and auto) and last but
not least, bank. Turned out to be 3 trips to law office, 2 trips to courthouse and
last was bank( which refused to put my money in the bank, this is my bank by the way).
Deal with this mess Dub and it will get your juices going for at least a week. Oh, that’s
right you are a guy and things will go smoothly for you guess things are just harder for me cause I’m a girl. Remember “Nobody to ask and nobody to tell”
Go ahead and make that list and make it long. Take it one day at a time.
I learned something very importat from Deb “keep a smile on your face and one
in your heart”. Thanks Deb.
Come on around Dub or I will start calling you Aunt Pitty Pat.
Mississippi

By: Marilyn

Marilyn — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 17:42:37 +0000

My heart goes out to you. Even though people say time heals, they don’t mention how convoluted that time actually is. One day you can be up, the next down. One month you are starting to plan again for a tentative future, the next you just want to pull the covers up over your head and stay put. Eventually the roller coaster does slow down and life evolves into a new normal. Eventually you make peace with it. You discover new interests, make new friends and learn more about yourself than you ever knew. It helps to be around people who have gone through the same type of loss you have experienced. Nothing is more revolting that to have someone say “I know how you feel” when they never experienced what you have. NO, they DON’T know how you feel. Those who have gone through similar things make great allies for the rest of your life. They have walked further down the path from where you are and can give you a heads up about potential rocks and boulders you may encounter. And they will reassure you that love never dies, neither for you nor for your loved one who has passed over. And it’s ok to mourn. It’s ok to continue to love. It’s ok to heal in convoluted ways. It’s ok to do it in your own way, your own time. God Bless.